Up Close and Personal With the Housewives: Meet Marinka!
Hello! It’s time, once again, for Meet the Housewives! Last week we enjoyed getting to know Wendi and now we’re ready to Meet Marinka!
Name: Marinka
Hometown: NYC
Age: 44, but looks younger. Especially in childhood photos.
And now here are some Q & As that will answer all the questions you never had about her!
If you were stranded on an island what celebrity would you choose to be stranded with and why?
Johnny Depp. He speaks Pirate.
Which would you rather:
-Strawberry Hill or Zima?
I don’t do drugs.
-sleep with Karl Rove or give a full body massage to Gary Busey?
A little late with that question. (Call me!)
If you were a stripper, what would be your signature song?
If? Fine. I Will Survive. It’s a klassik.
What’s your blood type?
AB-. What’s yours? I always like to surround myself with potential donors.
Who is your favorite comedian?
Robin Williams.
Why is the sky blue?
Because grass called green.
Square or rounded?
Square. OMG, does someone choose rounded?
What should they name the first Royal Child?
Prince.
Most embarrassing memory?
Yeah, right. Do I look like I was born yesterday?
What are you currently reading?
These questions. Is this a trick one?
Why do fools fall in love?
So that we can have reality TV.
If you were on a desert island, what three items (or people) would you bring?
A ship, a captain, and probably Tenille.
That’s all there is to know about Marinka! Nothing else! Certainly no criminal record or anything, so stop asking! We’ll be back soon with another Up Close and Personal Q&A! Will it be Kelcey? Tonya? Kristine? Perhaps Wendi will get some more questions to answer! Try to enjoy the weekend amid all the suspense!
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Help! My Nanny Can’t Hold My Baby!
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I’ve recently gone back to work so we had to get a nanny for our 4 month old. A friend of ours loves her nanny and our babies are about the same age so we have decided to do a nanny share where the woman watches both babies. I thought that this was working out really well until recently when I learned that the nanny doesn’t hold my baby very much.
My friend’s daughter is much louder and needier than my son so it seems like he is getting the short end of the stick. When they go out, the nanny has my friend’s baby in the Bjorn while my son is stuck in the stroller. And when it’s feeding time she has the girl in her arms with a bottle while my son is, once again, stuck in the swing or bouncer!
I’m really worried that my child isn’t getting enough physical contact! Am I being overly paranoid and high maintenance? The nanny is really great in every other way!
Signed,
Please Hold My Baby
———————————————
Dear Hold My Baby Dammit,
I don’t think you are being paranoid or overly high maintenance.
If you were, your worries would include:
-Is the nanny watching me while I sleep?
-Can she hear my thoughts when I’m not wearing my foil hat?
-Why won’t she use military corners when making my son’s bed?
-Is the nanny planning on stealing my child and selling him to Angelina Jolie?
-Why won’t the nanny feed my son his rice cereal from our best china?
-Doesn’t the nanny know my son only likes Beethoven Symphony performed by the New York Philharmonic, NOT the Old El Paso Orchestra!
It seems to me that your concern is warranted. The sense of touch is the primary way a mother or caregiver communicates with her baby. And given that the skin is the largest sense organ, this makes it extremely important. Studies have shown that touch helps in both the growth of the body and the brain, and can even aid in digestion. Physical contact, such as holding, hugging, and massaging, creates a sense of security and attachment that helps babies to blossom.
That being said, attachment studies have also shown that it’s more about quality contact than quantity. So your real concern should be if the nanny is able to give your son the quality interaction he deserves. Does she respond to him immediately when he needs it? Does she talk to him? Does she hold him other times of the day? Certainly, if he were in daycare this would be the case. And there are thousands/millions of children who thrive in that environment.
It’s time to have a serious heart-to-heart with your nanny. Because, not only is she in charge of your most precious bundle of joy, but she is also being paid to be a nanny – not a daycare. And taking this one step further, you really have to listen to your gut. You are your son’s mother. You know him best. If this situation doesn’t make you feel comfortable, then change it. There’s no need to throw around labels like “high maintenance” when it comes to your child. You want what is best for him. Even if that means getting a nanny just for him.
Good Luck,
Tonya, TMH
Here are a few interesting articles on the subject:
Brain Development in Childhood
How Important is Physical Contact With Your Infant?
Stimulation and Development During Infancy: Tuning in to Your Baby’s Cues
And this book is an amazing resource*:
I read this while I was pregnant and have gone back to it throughout my son’s 4 (sometimes seemingly LONG) years.
*This post contains an Amazon affiliate link.
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D-I-V-O-R-C-E spells PARTY TIME!
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My good friend “Cindy” and I are both in our 40′s. She recently got divorced and now, quite understandably, she wants to go out to clubs and bars and start mingling. The problem is that she wants me to go with her because she doesn’t want to go alone. I’m happily married and don’t have the time or desire to hang out in a singles bar, but I still want to support her. Advice?
Signed,
Not Single, Don’t Wanna Mingle
_________________________
Dear Not Single,
One thing nobody tells you about in your 20′s—when you and all of your friends are out every night meeting guys—is that half of you will be doing it all over again 20 years later. Only this time most of the guys will be bald, disillusioned and taking medicine for their high cholesterol. It’s like Cocoon meets Sex and the City meets Dr. Oz. HOT!
Anyway, while you’re a good friend for supporting her, of course you can’t accompany her on her nightly Man Trawls or you’ll soon be divorced yourself. Therefore, I have a few (brilliant) suggestions for you:
1. Find another single or divorced woman you know and hook them up. They no doubt have a lot in common and would love to spend time going out to clubs together. (Think The First Wives Club, but without the poor writing and lip syncing to Motown songs.)
2. Suggest Cindy try another way of meeting men, such as Match.com, eHarmony or the new dating/tax service I just invented two minutes ago called “Heart o’ Tax” where you can go on a date with a CPA and have him do your taxes before he kisses you good night. 1099! 1099! Oh, God, 10…99!
3. Related to #2, see if she’s interested in being set-up with a single man you know, then maybe go on a double date. That way she still has you around as back-up, but it’s a little more civilized than a single’s bar where people lick things off of other people and then scream “Woohoo!” and have to go to the county health clinic a week later.
4. Do not, under any circumstances, call her a Cougar, a Puma or a Mountain Snow Leopard because it will only hurt her feelings. Unless, of course, she’s dating a 25-year-old guy named Colton who works at a kiosk.
But my biggest piece of advice is for you is to realize that she’s probably sewing some wild oats (or “sowing” if you prefer the “correct” usage of that term) and will calm down soon enough. Divorce is incredibly stressful and she’s now just enjoying herself as much as she can. So be there, support her and listen to the stories about all the hot guys she met last night.
Especially the bald ones who have high cholesterol.
Sincerely,
Wendi, TMH
4 Comments <-- Click to Comment
I Hate Your Baby Name
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My cousin is pregnant with a little boy, and while I’m extremely happy for her, I can’t stand the name she picked out for him. And obviously I can’t tell her how much I don’t like the name so I need a really great nickname for the name Colton.
Any ideas?
Signed,
You’re Naming Your Kid What?!
__________________
Dear You’re Naming Your Kid What?!,
Well, don’t go blaming yourself for this. I have personally introduced a constitutional amendment requiring all people to keep their baby names a secret until AFTER the child is born.
It’s just terribly awkward to know a baby’s name beforehand. First of all, it’s hard to get jazzed about the birth of a baby when you already know every detail months in advance. I’m having a baby. It’s a girl. Her name is Elizabeth Sarah. The c-section date is on April 25th. She’s a Taurus and her hobbies will be horseback riding and rowing. TMI people.
Second of all, it’s a lot easier to hate a name before the baby is born. Once you are cooing over the little tyke, it’s possible to forget that his name is Vanilli or Pilot Inspektor. Not completely. But those cute cheeks and baby soft skin make it a bit more palatable.
Now we have gotten this baby name problem before. And I was really bracing myself for you to share some kind of horrific name. But Colton? Oh my gosh, I love that name! Like if Tim Riggins of Friday Night Lights wasn’t named Tim Riggins – he would be named Colton. Colton is like a hot cowboy. Or a handsome movie star. Or maybe a cheesy soap character. But let’s focus on cowboy and movie star. I really think it’s a pretty cool name.
Does that help? Oh man, you still don’t like it. Alright, how about if you just call him “Cole?” Or maybe “Ton” but that could be politically incorrect with the whole eradicate childhood obesity campaign going on right now. You could just call him “the baby” but of course, that will get strange once he starts high school.
I think the best bet is to wait and meet the little guy. You might be so enamored with him, you won’t care what he goes by. That’s probably why they make those babies so ridiculously cute.
Good luck,
Kelcey, TMH
28 Comments <-- Click to Comment
Can You Help Me Punk My Boss?
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I work at a hotel (in the U.S.) which has brought employees in from a poor European country for the season. The girls are working as housekeepers, earning minimum wage, which is $2 less than what any of the other housekeepers START at. They had to pay for their own flights here, work visas, and they pay all their U.S. taxes. They work 6 days a week, so they are getting overtime, but I still feel like they are totally being taken advantage of. It makes me angry.
My employer doesn’t seem to be doing anything illegal, just something that I think is ICKY. When these girls go back to their homes, they will have enough money saved that they can live off it for 6 months (going to University) without working, so that’s good for them. I just hate so much that my employer is taking advantage of them. Do you have any advice on what I can do for them, aside from adopting them through an adopt-a-teenager program where I send them $20 a month when they get home and in return they send me postcards? I know this is a weird question. It just makes me feel bad.
Signed,
My Boss is a Jerk
____________________________________________
My Boss is a Jerk,
I don’t think this is a weird question at all. I mean, please. We live in a world where Newt Gingrich is making a legitimate run at the Presidency on the platform of open-marriage. It takes a little more to rattle the Housewives.
It’s honorable that you’re feeling badly for these disadvantaged workers, but as you suggested, it’s not exactly illegal for your boss to be an asshole to your co-workers. What’s more, if you were to do something to get the bossman in trouble, the girls would suffer as well. I think that’s what they call a Catch-22, but I’ve never been good with postmodern literature.
But, if you do it right, maybe you can boost them into the media spotlight which will basically both humiliate your boss AND get the girls some paparazzi-type celebrity status. Here’s what I suggest:
1. New York had this really obnoxious guy with a mustache who worked for the local news, and he always annoyed the crap out of the bad guys until they finally caved to get him off their back. Most of the time they were probably innocent, but that’s besides the point. Get in touch with your local media and ask for the homeliest reporter with the biggest microphone to help you out.
2. Ashton Kutcher. He still does that Punk’d show for MTV, right? (He doesn’t? Well, just tell him pretty young girls are involved and I’m sure he’ll be there in a heartbeat.) Sure, the national media attention may cause the entire hotel to fail financially, costing you your job in the process, but it’ll be a great story!
3. Aren’t hotels usually haunted? Because I feel like, if you get the girls involved, you could all chip in for some fake blood and gray face paint and really pull an epic prank on Mr. Bossman. Kind of like the ghosts of Christmas past, except they’re the ghosts of…like, hotels or something. (Okay, so maybe this one isn’t super smooth, but I’m not a damn script writer so cut me some slack already.)
Or, if you want to take the issue more seriously (bo-ring!), you could do something more responsible. Perhaps you could contact local lawyers or worker’s unions to see if there’s any legal action that can be taken. Beyond that and slashing your boss’ tires, maybe you want to just have a good heart-to-heart with the girls and then submit your resignation. That’s what Jerry McGuire would do.
Good luck,
Kristine, TMH
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