Happy Happy Joy Joy!
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
A woman in our office who is pretty high on the food chain has recently begun taking the antidepressant Lexapro. She’s always been a little moody, and I’m happy to report that the bad moods are now gone, ONLY TO BE REPLACED BY EXTRA SPECIAL HAPPY MOODS. All the damn time. She’s a manager and should know better, but she now squeals like a girl at the slightest provocation and acts like a six year old after a day of slurpees, ding dongs, and ring pops.
I care about this woman and can see clearly that she’s damaging her credibility by acting like a manic grade-schooler. Is there a way to tactfully remind her to act her age? If not, can I switch her Lexapro to something less offensive, like maybe Xanax??
Signed,
Liked Her Better When She Cried
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Dear Liked Her Better When She Cried,
Before I begin to answer your question, I must first disclose that I personally don’t have any experience with the use of antidepressants. This is simply because I’m high on LIFE, baby! LIFE! (Well, life and the open printer cartridge I sniff like an unstable Doberman whenever I get upset. Lexmark Black Ink #1, I can’t quit you!)
Anyway, I point that out because while there are certainly psychological changes going on that I can’t begin to understand, I also believe the problem with Missus Happy Pants may not be due to her medication; rather, it’s due to other people’s reaction to her new personality.
For whatever reason, most workers seem to deal better with bosses who are assholes than ones who are fun and happy and wear pink cat sweatshirts. Maybe this is because it’s easier to respect someone who acts all serious and stern than someone who tells fart jokes and giggles. Don Draper vs. Don Knotts, if you will.
I say as long as she’s still performing her duties and has a handle on managing everyone, don’t bring up the medication issue with her at all. It’s just going to do is get her upset (if that’s even possible), plus she may think you don’t care about her new found happiness. Chances are that if there really is a problem, her family and close friends will advise her to go see her doctor for a medication adjustment. (Or sign her up to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.)
Therefore, my advice is to just lay low and try to enjoy Little Mary Sunshine. Because given the choice, it’s always better to work with someone who acts likes a Slurpee than someone who acts like a jackass.
Sincerely,
Wendi, TMH
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How Do I Prove I Don’t Want Your Husband?
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I’m the only female employee in my office. All the others are men (of course) and they’re all married. Knowing the insecurity that sometimes rears its ugly head with women, I have bent over backwards to make it clear that there are definite boundaries I wouldn’t cross.
At company functions I make sure to mingle with the wives, not the male co-workers. I always accept any “ladies’ night” invitations I receive. I accepted such an invitation last weekend, and on Monday I find out I vaguely insulted someone. A co-worker told me about it, but he didn’t know who was upset or what I had done. I honestly don’t know how or who.
Now I feel uncomfortable joining in on company activities – and there are a lot of these. The company is big enough where I can’t just go down a list and ask all the wives who I’ve insulted and what I did, so that I can apologize. And I can’t continue *not* going to functions, because I am seriously afraid they’ll think I won’t hang out with them because I want their husbands or have something to hide.
What do I do?
Signed,
I Swear I’m Not After Your Husband
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Dear Not After Your Husband,
You sound like a very considerate female co-worker and I applaud you for your maturity. But before I give advice, I have a question to ask you. If you are the only woman in a company that large, shouldn’t we report them to the EEOC?
Now, this hunting down which wife you offended is a bad idea, even if the company were smaller and an equal opportunity employer. You are a Mouthy Housewife reader! Stare at our web header until, through osmosis, you become like a Mouthy Housewife and then act accordingly. This means a) start a rumor about the wives as a counterattack or b) not caring you offended someone.
If the osmosis fails and you feel you can’t bring yourself to do such a thing (maturity can be such an inhibitor that way), I have a few other suggestions of how to nip this situation in the bud.
Become a lesbian. Or simply hint at lesbian activity.
Keep a tube of Preparation H on your desk. Make frequent trips to the bathroom with it obviously in hand, both at work and during ladies’ night out.
Stop shaving your armpits and set a fashion trend with sleeveless shirts. Be sure to wear them to those company functions!
Pass a lot of gas, especially at company functions.
Adopt 19 cats and become your office’s Crazy Cat Lady. Keep your purse full of pictures of your darlings. Dress them up and bring them as your “date” to those company activities.
Utilizing even just one of the suggestions while in the company of the wives will surely convince them their husband could never find you attractive.
Signed,
Heather, TMH
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Take This Job and Shove It?
Today we welcome with open-arms our fabulous guest-poster Lisa from Smacksy. If you haven’t read Smacksy before, get there as fast as you can. Lisa is a charming, funny, down-to-earth writer who regularly regales her readers with what it’s like to live with a preschooler named Bob who doesn’t like to wear pants. We’re honored to have you, Lisa!
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I am really angry because a slacker colleague got a bigger raise than I did. I found out about it because she assumed that we got the same amount and told me. I am now very upset, and my morale is at an all-time low. Do I say something to my boss or suck it up?
Signed,
Raise A Stink?
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Dearest R.A. Stink,
Deep in the job history that is not represented on my resume, I was employed as a food server, or as we referred to it in the olden days, a “waitress.” One busy lunch shift, I confided in another waitress, Pammy, that our manager, Felix had been subtly hitting on me. Never anything blatant enough to call him on, but Felix stood too close, he would brush up against me, and had a skeezy overall vibe. This outraged Pammy. I soon found out that Pammy and Felix had actually been seeing each other on the down low for a few months. Once I knew that she knew and he knew that I knew that she knew and he knew the whole deal was awkward for all involved.
My first point is if your slacker co-worker is a pleasant horse-faced gal named Pammy, she may very well be sleeping with your boss. My second and sharper point is that you never really know what goes on behind the scenes in the workplace or why people make the money they do. Your lazy cubicle roommate may have an MBA that you don’t, or job experience that you don’t, or better salary-negotiating skills than you do. It doesn’t really matter.
You’re going to have to nut up. Bringing the discrepancy up to your boss will only brand you as a bitter whiner and out your lazy colleague as a big mouth. The gift in all this is that when it comes time for your next review, you will have inside knowledge that puts you in a better position to ask for the “going rate” for your position.
Be cool to the blabber-mouthed slacker. She unwittingly did you a favor… and the way things are going, she could be your new supervisor.
Best,
Lisa, Guest TMH
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Your “C” is my “A” and I’m Not Talking About Cups Here
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Will Work for Onesies
Dear TMH,
Any tips on finding a job (preferably mom-friendly or part time) when you are pregnant?
Signed,
Hire Me
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Dear Hire Me,
It does not happen often, but sometimes a Mouthy Housewife gets stumped. Like, why would you want to find a job when God spoke to you through your uterus and said, “Taketh the next nine months off because thou shalt never rest again!” God or Shakespeare. Take your pick.
On the other hand, if you are looking for work because people need money to live in society, handle the issue of your pregnancy frankly. Working Mother Magazine puts out a list of the best companies for moms, so incorporate that into your job search. You don’t mention what your skill set is, but as anyone who has ever had a child, or been near one for that matter will attest, motherhood hones all your talents. You will be qualified for corporate takeovers in no time.
On the practical side, in this lousy economy, companies are looking to cut corners and part-time employees often fit the bill. If you are receiving health insurance through your husband’s employment, your not needing health insurance from your prospective employer can be a real plus. Focus on your strengths, network with everyone from your friends, your partners’ colleagues, to the women you meet through a Lamaze class and at your OB/GYN’s office. Get the word out that you are available and that no pregnancy will slow you down. Also have an idea of what your post-partum plans are. Are you looking to return to work after a few weeks? Months? Years?
Unless you’re applying for the role of Maternity Supermodel, do not list your pregnancy on your resume or work it into your cover letter. Although it’s illegal for an employer to ask you if you are pregnant, if she does ask, be honest. Positioning yourself behind bookcases and insisting that people look at you only from the shoulders up until your baby is born may be awkward.
Good luck,
Marinka, TMH
