My Mother Is a Soda Pusher!
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My parents are staying with us over the holidays and although I’m happy to have them with us and my children adore them, I’m not happy that my mother tries to get the kids to drink soda.
I’m not a health nut, but we do not drink soda and I see no reason to give any to my 3 and 5 year old children.
I’ve talked to my mother about this in past years (she brings the soda with her, and doles it out as a special treat) and she said that she doesn’t know what the big deal is.
She thinks I’m being the food police. What do you think?
Signed,
Sodaless
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Dear Sodaless,
How can you possibly be the food police if what you’re monitoring is your children’s beverage intake? Or is the beverage police a unit of the larger food police force? And is Sipowitz part of that particular task force? Because I’m still not over seeing his butt on NYPD Blue.
I do know that as a parent you have a right to determine what your children get to eat and drink. And your mother doesn’t get to overrule you.
I don’t blame you for nixing soda in your home. It has absolutely no health benefits and there’s a lot to show that it’s bad for children. (If it’s part of their daily diet. A once-a-year soda, even once a month soda is probably ok.)
Your mother may think that it is more than ok and that you are depriving your children of their constitutional right to sugar and carbonation. She can think that all she wants but she can’t substitute her values for yours and make decisions for your children.
It is also not ok for her to disregard your wishes. What if she decides one day that your children need to wear matching Christmas sweaters with reindeer appliques? Then what are you going to do?
You should talk to your mother again, perhaps in advance of her visit. Let her know that although you appreciate the time she spends with your children and you value their relationship, you are concerned about the studies that have been coming out regarding sweetened beverage consumption and childhood obesity and diabetes. If you need more ammunition, blame New York City (everyone else does) and their anti-soda posters.
I'll have a glass of water, please. Thank you.
I suspect that your mother may be trying to find a special treat that she can share with grandchildren—a forbidden fruit, so to speak, that will win them over. Suggest to her that spending time doing a favorite activity (singing Justin Bieber songs? Playing Trouble?) would be a lot better for the children’s health and the grandmother-grandchildren relationship in the long run. And if she still insists on the forbidden fruit, consider persimmon.
Good luck,
Marinka, TMH
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The Mouthy Housewives Interview Wendi Mclendon-Covey
Some of you might know that the BlogHer conference took place a few weeks ago in San Diego. Both Mouthy Wendi (MW) and I flew in on our private jets and had the opportunity to interview the very funny and very talented Wendi Mclendon-Covey while we were there.
(I KNOW! THE OTHER WENDI!)
MW worked in Hollywood before, so I can only imagine that she was rather calm, cool, and collected about the entire thing. I however, promptly began to freak the hell out. What would we ask her? What if she upstages our humor? And will this microphone pick up the sound of my stomach growling, because I could go to TOWN on a Hillshire Farm breakfast patty right about now.
Long story short, after being drugged and coerced by friends (kind of), I convinced MW (again, our Wendi, not THAT Wendi…Jesus, this is confusing) that it would be hilarious to fill the interview with sexual innuendo. ABOUT SAUSAGE!
Get it? Hillshire Farm? Sausage? THE JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES!
Well, as it turns out, the jokes EDIT themselves as well, because this is the final product of our interview, and every single one of my side-splitting sausage propositions has been removed. I am an embarrassment to my friends and family. (Speaking of which, the context for discussing my husband’s preference for sausage was also removed…HE DOESN’T REALLY HAVE A CONDITION. Omfg.)
Thanks again to everyone at Hillshire Farm, for sponsoring this post, and especially to Wendi Mclendon-Covey for being so personable and funny. I hope you’ll forgive me for the sausage talk. Ahem.
And for those of you that haven’t yet seen Wendi Mclendon-Covey’s amazing “slinking” skills, check out Hillshire Farm‘s latest commercial.
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Smoothies!
As you know, two weeks ago, Mouthy Housewives Kelcey, Marinka and Wendi were at BlogHer. But just because they were relaxing and partying at BlogHer, doesn’t mean that they left their culinary skills behind. Take a look!
And please check out the 8th Continent Soymilk Nice Job, Mom contest here. Look through the entries of the very relatable parenting mishaps, and submit your own! You could win a room makeover! Or a fancy trip! What’s not to love?
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Snack Attack During Dinner Preparations
If you’re looking to live a more greener, organic life, Daphne of A Greener Biener is the girl to emulate. Luckily for us, she took a break from growing tomatoes and making jam to be a guest Mouthy Housewife. She was also a sorority sister of mine so if you’re really nice, we’ll teach you the secret handshake. – Kelcey
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Dear Mouthy Housewives,
If you’ll allow me to start with boasting, let me say I am a very talented home cook. The problems is that I taste test so much of the food as I’m cooking that I’m never hungry by the time the meal is on the table. Not only is it a let down to my taste buds to eat when full, but it’s no friend to my waistline either. I have no idea how all of the Food Network chefs manage to not nibble while cooking. Do you have any advice of how I could stop this bad cooking habit?
Signed,
Just Too Finger Lickin’ Good
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Dear Finger Lickin’,
Hats off to you, girl. I like a self-possessed woman who can take credit for her strengths. If you’re telling me that you are a talented home cook, I have no doubt you are indeed tomorrow’s next Top Chef.
The problem here, however, doesn’t seem to be the provision of quality meals for your family. (I’m assuming that some of the food actually makes it to the table for your family? Or are you scarfing down the good stuff and throwing out a bowl of cheerios for them?)
Tasting is an important part of creating in the kitchen. That being said, you won’t be able to lift that ladle if you insist on snacking your way through the process. You mentioned that the chefs on the Food Network never nibble while they cook. So I think the obvious solution is to hire a neighborhood kid to film you every day while you make dinner (tell her you’ll kick in a couple extra bucks if she also does your hair and make-up). Once the camera is rolling, you’ll be too self-conscious to keep up your snacking habit.
Of course, once you tire of being an imaginary Food Network star, you’ll need a different solution. Just like we should never enter the supermarket on an empty stomach, perhaps you should not confront the stove in your weakened state. Does Happy Hour coincide with cooking time at your house? Why not sip a glass of wine while you stir the pot? Or peel an extra carrot while preparing the salads, then munch away. You’ll feel satisfied and your appetite should still be intact for the dinner table.
Feel free to check the flavor and toss in a little salt, but leave the rest for the table. This is where the good stuff happens anyway. Showing your children that you’ve got a handle on how to eat right is the best way to promote healthy eating habits in them.
Trust yourself; we’ve established that you’re a good cook. So don’t go licking the bowl clean trying to prove it. Here’s what you do if you can’t get control of that wandering tongue — act like a Queen: claim paranoia and hire yourself a royal food taster.
Signed,
Daphne, Guest TMH
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Bon Appetit, From My Lunch Box to Yours
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My daughter is in kindergarten this year, and wants me to pack her lunch every day. I think it’s a good idea to do this, too, since I don’t like the food in the cafeteria, but I’m running out of ideas of what to put in her lunch bag. She’s pretty picky, but there has to be something that’ll make her happy. Help!
Signed,
PBJ Mom
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Dear PBJ Mom,
I guess it depends on whether you are a Mrs. Brady type mom or a Roseanne Barr type mom.
If you are a Mrs. Brady type mom, why are you even writing in this question? Isn’t packing your kid’s lunch your housekeeper’s problem?
If you are a Roseanne Barr type mom then you simply throw a pack of Malboros into your child’s lunch box. On Tuesdays pack menthols for variety.
But, if you are a Type A mom like me, the challenge is less black and white. How many ways can you slather a piece of bread before you want to slit your wrist with the serrated knife out of boredom?
I recommend utilizing a soup thermos, especially during the cooler months. Take this a step further by getting on your Julia Child and filling it with homemade soups. This really makes you look like a superior mother to all those other kindergartners. Type B moms can fill a thermos with Chef Boyardee ravioli, but really, all that says to the other kids is your child will attend state college and not Ivy League. (Those Lunchables are even worse and say technical college, so watch out for those.)
I also recommend Fit & Fresh containers.* I use them in my kids’ lunch boxes and adore them. I can easily pack fresh fruit and yogurt, salads…you get the idea; healthy foods that will not only make me look like mother of the year but ensure a Harvard scholarship too. On top of those fringe benefits, you’ll also use fewer plastic sandwich bags, so it’s like you’re Eco-Mom of the Year with future Ivy League genius. For anal-retentive moms, there is no higher dream.
So, PBJ Mom, I hope that has given you some alternative lunchbox ideas. Write us back and let us know how it goes. We’d love to know if your daughter enjoys homemade shrimp bisque, or prefers the menthol over slims.
Signed,
Heather, TMH
*TMH was not compensated in any way to mention Fit & Fresh products. At least, this Mouthy Housewife wasn’t. Kelcey and Wendi have been looking mighty fit and fresh lately.
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