My Daughter’s Birthday is Making Me Look Bad
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My daughter is turning 7 in a month. She wants to invite several friends to go to a water park near our home. But she wants it to be “girls only.” This means one of her best friends (a boy) won’t be invited.
I’ve tried to convince her that she should just include him but she won’t budge. I don’t want this boy to feel left out plus we are close friends with his parents.This could get awkward really quickly. Should I just force her to include him?
Signed,
Political Correct Polly
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Dear Polly,
You could force your daughter to include him and then when your birthday rolls around, she can force you to celebrate it at American Girl Place with a tea party for all your friends and their overpriced dolls. Not your idea of fun, right?
It’s her birthday. And it only rolls around once a year. And a year to a 7 year-old is like 10 zillion years (unlike our birthdays which seem to come around every 30 minutes). So your daughter has been waiting a very long time for this big day. If at all possible, let her celebrate it HER way.
Who knows why she wants a girls only party? Just accept that kids are sort of insane and you’ll save yourself a lot of energy. Let her have her girls party but tell her to come up with a special way to celebrate her birthday with her friend that’s a boy. Maybe a playdate with birthday cupcakes? Have her think of an idea she likes and will be excited about. All of a sudden she has two birthday celebrations!
As for your friends, just tell them your daughter wants a girls only birthday party, roll your eyes in that my-daughter-is-crazy kind of way and apologize that you can’t include their son. Then suggest a adults dinner out and pick up the alcohol tab. Nothing awkward about buying your friends a few drinks. Unless a swingers scenario follows. In that case, write back. We Mouthy Housewives will help.
Good luck!
Signed,
Kelcey, TMH
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Turn Your Kid from a Home Wrecker to a Help
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My daughter is six and does absolutely nothing around the house. What is a reasonable chore for her? And at what age should chores start?
Signed,
I’ve Given Birth to a Freeloader
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Dear I’ve Given Birth to a Freeloader,
I know you submitted this question a few weeks ago and I’m sorry that I’m just answering it now. I was busy supervising my 3 month-old twins as they paint the trim on the deck. I believe in starting chores as early as possible. All the better when they are too young to complain about it.
I think some us have a tendency to become personal assistants to our young children. We scurry around preparing snacks, picking laundry up off the floor and wiping their faces. They sit there on their royal behinds practically shouting out demands with a weak “please” sometimes thrown in.
Well ladies, it’s time to take back our self-respect. In my opinion, 6 year-olds should certainly be bringing their plates to the sink after each meal, putting their laundry in the hamper and cleaning up their toys. When my kids (ages 3 and almost 6) show a serious lack of interest in cleaning up their playroom (even with my help), I tell them that anything left out will be tossed in the trash. Kind of puts a fire under those royal tushes. And honestly, I’d be thrilled to throw away some of the crap, so it certainly is not an empty threat.
There’s also no reason why you can’t have your 6 year-old start some regular chores in exchange for a small allowance. Putting out the napkins and silverware for dinner each night? Maybe cleaning fingerprints off some of the windows? Making his or her bed? That sort of thing.
Just make sure you consistently require them to do it. It’s important to get started when kids are young (age 3 is not too early) because at that age, they actually like to help. You want to establish good habits for when they no longer think “helping mommy” is super cool.
Of course, you’ll always be cool to me.
Good luck,
Kelcey, TMH
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Smoothies!
As you know, two weeks ago, Mouthy Housewives Kelcey, Marinka and Wendi were at BlogHer. But just because they were relaxing and partying at BlogHer, doesn’t mean that they left their culinary skills behind. Take a look!
And please check out the 8th Continent Soymilk Nice Job, Mom contest here. Look through the entries of the very relatable parenting mishaps, and submit your own! You could win a room makeover! Or a fancy trip! What’s not to love?
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You’ve Got Rude Mail
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My friend sends very curt emails. When she asks me to do something, she never says “please” and “thank you.” Do I say something (and if so, what?) or just let it go. Am I over-sensitive?
Signed,
Magic Word Marge
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Dear Marge,
It often can be very difficult to figure out the tone and meaning of an email. I once had a boyfriend who emailed, “We both really need a break.” I was half way through planning our itinerary to Southern Italy so we could get a break from work and go on holiday together when it suddenly occurred to me that he might mean a break from me. Turns out, he was totally into the idea of going to Southern Italy. He just preferred to do it with some brunette he met at work.
Sometimes we read emails the wrong way. You might think your friend’s emails are rude and she may just be quickly typing something out on her Blackberry. I promise you that she has no idea she’s offending you. Many of us take shortcuts while typing on our cell phones in an effort to avoid crippling finger pain and the words “Thank you” might be 8 letters too many for your friend.
I’m not sure what she’s asking of you in these emails. If it’s, “Can you pick up some wine on your way to the party?” I might let the “please” and “thank you” thing go. If it’s, “Can you take care of my 5 children for the long weekend?” I would demand some manners.
If it’s really bothering you, send her an email about it but try to soften the tone with one of those completely overused, totally annoying smiley faces. Like, “Hey girl, I’m happy to return your library books for you but I’d love to hear the magic word. 
That sort of thing.
Good luck to you!
Signed,
Kelcey, TMH
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I’m Not Flashing My Boobs at Mardi Gras, I’m Just Breastfeeding
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
In honor of international breastfeeding month, I am currently exclusively nursing my 7-week-old baby. We haven’t even given her a bottle yet. Unfortunately, this has started to cause some tension between me and my in-laws.
First of all, my mother-in-law is insistent that I give the baby a bottle so she can feed her. Secondly, I get banished to the bedroom whenever it is time for baby to eat because they don’t feel comfortable with breastfeeding. If I can nurse at an outdoor concert with 5,000 people, I have yet to figure out why I can’t nurse in front of family at my own house. How do I deal with my anti-breastfeeding mother-in-law?
Signed,
Don’t Go Hatin’ the Breasts
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Dear Don’t Go Hatin’ the Breasts,
Because I’m the only Mouthy Housewife currently breastfeeding (although I’ve suspected that Heather is an undercover wet nurse), I thought I should answer your question. It’s fabulous that you’re breastfeeding your child, but girl, pump a little milk and feed that kid a bottle. I don’t care about your MIL, but if you ever want to go see a movie, get a mani/pedi, take a yoga class, enjoy a dinner out, hit the rifle range, you’ll want your baby to take a bottle.
The reason being that some babies don’t like that rubber nipple, so the longer you wait, the harder it could get. Take my daughter Summer. When she was a baby, she just refused to take a bottle. I begged. I pleaded. I threatened. I told her that in two years when the American Academy of Pediatrics gave her the go ahead to watch television, I would deny her “CSI: Miami” unless she tried the bottle. But nothing worked. Stubborn little monster. So please, start that bottle thing pronto so you can have some flexibility in your life.
As far as breastfeeding in your own home, you have a right to do it anywhere you want. You can breastfeed on your dining room table if you like, just move that Nambé crystal fruit bowl first. Your MIL should not be able to dictate where you feed your child. But to try to smooth family relations, put one of those breastfeeding cover ups over you, so your MIL doesn’t pass out when she catches a glimpse of your sexy lactating nipple.
When you’re at her house, follow her rules and breastfeed privately. This can be a special time to bond with your child or in other words, catch up on what’s happening on your iPhone.
Good luck to you.
Signed,
Kelcey, TMH
