So, About This Blogging Thing
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
Is there anywhere I can go to learn about Blogging Etiquette and the do’s and don’ts? I’m new to blogging, but I’m rapidly falling in love with it.
Regards,
JENN
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Dear Jenn,
Congratulations on getting bit by the blogging bug! And please say goodbye to whatever free time you had.
The good news is that you are off to a good start by being named Jenn. Because although you don’t have to be a Jennifer to have a blog, it certainly doesn’t hurt.
As for etiquette, there are tons of rules, but unfortunately, they have not yet been codified. Apparently, our government has been too busy with a few wars and the sucky economy. I know. I’m upset, too.
But here are a few good places to start: Scary Mommy and Playgroupie. Both have excellent guides for new bloggers (with some tips that even us seniors can learn from). Other than that, everyone has their own etiquette rules.
Here are my top 5:
1. Don’t blog anything you don’t want the entire world to know.
2. If you write a post inspired by another blogger, link to her. If you’re talking about another blog, link to it. (Unless you’re writing about someone you can’t stand behind their back, like I’ve done, in which case it’s totally fair to say “I’m not linking to her because I don’t want to send traffic her way.”)
3. If you’re compensated for writing a post, disclose it. More about that here.
4. Proofread your posts.
5. Write really interesting/funny/important stuff.
That’s it! Happy blogging!
Sincerely,
Marinka, TMH
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She’s Leaving! For Kindergarten!
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My daughter is starting kindergarten in two weeks and I’m a nervous wreck. I thought I’d be okay with her being gone all day, but I’m feeling really sad that my little girl is leaving me. Is this weird? Shouldn’t this just happen when they go to college?
Signed,
Kinder Kim
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Dear Kim,
Oh, don’t get me started. Wait—too late. Because the other day when I was watching a sappy commercial about some kid starting 1st grade, suddenly I was sobbing into my gin and tonic. And not just because it was light on the gin. No, I got teary eyed because I realized that my children would never again be in 1st grade, that their babyhood was over forever.
So based on my own experience, as confirmed by the flurry of responses I received from my fellow moms replying to my mass email that asked if “anyone else feels sad that their kids aren’t babies anymore?”, you are perfectly normal. Parents mourn the passing of every stage of their children’s lives (with the possible exception of the Horrific Threes, whose passing they cheer with cocktails and pinatas).
But although it’s normal, it’s also temporary. Because the initial pangs of “My baby!” will soon be replaced with “Why is my baby bringing endless arty crap home from school?” and “ANOTHER lice outbreak in my baby’s class?!” And if you decide that you want to be immersed in your daughter’s school life, there will be plenty of volunteer PTO opportunities. (But tread lightly with those.)
Also, as your daughter makes new friends, you will too. My children’s friends’ mothers are some of my closest friends now. Which is fantastic when school is closed on a snow day and I need to unload my precious angels somewhere.
So go easy on yourself and feel okay about feeling sad. And don’t worry, college will bring its own sadness. You’ll know it when you see it; it’ll have the Bursar’s Office on the return address.
Good luck,
Marinka, TMH
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Smoothies!
As you know, two weeks ago, Mouthy Housewives Kelcey, Marinka and Wendi were at BlogHer. But just because they were relaxing and partying at BlogHer, doesn’t mean that they left their culinary skills behind. Take a look!
And please check out the 8th Continent Soymilk Nice Job, Mom contest here. Look through the entries of the very relatable parenting mishaps, and submit your own! You could win a room makeover! Or a fancy trip! What’s not to love?
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Is That Your Perfume, Or Are We Being Fumigated?
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
Help! My roommate wears too much perfume. She is a lovely woman but she wears a ton of cheap perfume each day. She sprays it on in one end of our house and I can smell it upstairs at the opposite end before she’s even done spraying. It makes me want to gag and I have a hard time catching my breath. It’s a terrible way to start my day. I have been leaving all the windows open in the house to air it out but that isn’t gonna fly in our fast-approaching northern winter. What can I say to get her to ditch the perfume?
Signed,
Must You Marinate In It?
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Dear Marinate,
Oh, I’ve been there. Where your roommate is, I mean. I’d spray a gallon or two of the finest that Walgreen’s had to offer, and suddenly everyone within gagging distance would be wrinkling their noses and feigning fainting spells. So unnecessary when a simple, “nothing personal, but your perfume is making me sick!” will do the trick nicely.
I know that it’s popular to lie and say that you are allergic to her scent, and if you need that crutch, then by all means. But I think that there are others in her life who suffer along with you, and since you’re the first point of contact, you should take one for the team and just let her know. If you feel like you can’t be blunt and tell her, “you’re putting on way too much perfume on and it’s suffocating me,” I suggest that you engage her in a riveting round of Guess What I Find Annoying About You? After she submits one insecurity after another for your consideration, surprise her with “it’s your perfume!” She’s guaranteed to be relieved that it’s just that an not the fact that she’s a whore with daddy issues or her cankles.
Happy breathing!
Marinka, TMH
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Friends Help Friends Vacuum
Dear Mouthy Housewives Heather and Kelcey,
What do you think about a friend who invites you to stay at her apartment during the BlogHer conference, but then she casually insists that you vacuum her apartment?
Sincerely,
“Wendi”
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Dear “Wendi”,
Well, it’s your bad luck that Kelcey and Heather are at a spa today and I’m womanning the shop. Personally, I don’t see what the big deal is. In the spirit of sisterhood, we should all be helping each other with domestic chores. Besides, with the Mouthy Housewives party sponsor LG Kompressor vacuum, you hardly broke a sweat!
Can’t wait for you to visit again! Mi casa is su casa! (And next time, you WILL do windows.)
Luv,
Marinka
(Note: Please excuse the dramatical stylings of the Housewives. We were kicked out of the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts for insubordination & excessive beer bonging. Also, the cinematography was done by Ms. Madison, Marinka’s 10-year-old neighbor, who we think has a bright future in directing industrial videos.)
Many thanks to our wonderful Mouthy Party sponsor LG Electronics for outfitting all of us and our guests with the awesome LG Kompressor! Yes, everybody who came to our Mouthy Housewives BlogHer party is getting a vacuum! It’s just like we’re frickin’ Oprah, but without the latent thyroid condition and our “boyfriend” Steadman! Woohoo! YOU GET A VACUUM! YOU GET A VACUUM! YOU, well, you get a pack of gum and a pat on the head, but then YOU GET A VACCUM!
