How Do You Tell Your Sister She’s Fat AND Stupid?
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
Every year my older sister starts a new diet plan on January 1st. Since she knows she’s doing this, she eats like a burly Teamster for the entire month of December, thinking she’ll soon lose the weight. However, she never does and each year she packs on an extra 10 lbs. How do we tell her this is a really bad idea without hurting her feelings?
Signed,
The Skinnier Sister
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Dear Skinnier Sister,
Let me get this straight: You want to point out the obvious to your sister, which will basically imply that she’s both fat and stupid. I bet she’ll want to nominate you for Sister of the Year after that!
I have a better idea – you don’t tell her.
Losing weight is hard. With deep, enlightened statements such as that, I’m sure you’ll want to quote me, so I give you permission. See, this Mouthy Housewife has sworn for over a year now she would see the underside of 140 pounds. I have three pounds to go, and this is after months (and I mean MONTHS) of heinous acts of self-flagellation, or what is also known as The 30-Day Shred exercise video. Of course, it probably wouldn’t take me so long to reach my goal were I not also flagellating myself with chocolate chip cookies tied to a rope.
If you feel compelled to help your sister, I suggest a more positive approach. Make a fitness commitment with her. I don’t care who you are (unless you are that succubus she-devil Jillian Michaels), there is always room to improve your physical fitness. The two of you can keep each other accountable. There are lots of ways to do this, but right now I hear a cookie calling my name and can’t list them. Hofefully, mah reafers wilf mafe some suffestions while I eafs dis cookie.
Sincerely,
Heather, TMH
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It’s Weighing on Me, Can You Tell?
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I need advice and am too embarrassed to discuss with my close friends. I have been with my HS sweetheart for 11 years, but we are not married. During this time I have gained over 150 pounds. He didn’t say anything at first, but the last 3 years he has mentioned my weight gain. He is not mean, does not make fun of me, just lets me know that it is something that he is not happy with.
I hate that I am overweight. I don’t even try to take care of myself anymore. No makeup, hair is always up, and I live in jeans and T-shirts. I am a yo-yo dieter. I lose weight and then get sick of dieting and gain all the weight plus more.
He brought up the weight issue last night, and let me know that he wants to move forward with our life, and that he wants to get married one day but my weight is a HUGE issue for him. He doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life having arguments about my weight. I immediately got mad when he told me this, because I feel like he should love me no matter what. I KNOW that he loves me, he goes to work everyday to provide for me and our son, and is an all around great guy. That said, I’m still mad. I can’t figure out though if I’m mad at him for caring about my weight, and for not accepting me for me, or if I’m mad at myself for letting it get this bad. You might need to get your husbands for this one, but is my sweetie a bad guy or would this be on any guys mind?
Thanks!
Signed, Too Much
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Dear Too Much,
The good news is that I don’t need my husband’s input for this one because this isn’t a boy-girl issue. It’s a human issue and a health issue.
I understand that you are upset about what he said, but I don’t see your partner’s concern about your weight and your health (because certainly we can agree that they’re intertwined) as a signal that he doesn’t love you no matter what. I see it as an expression of genuine concern about a woman that he loves. No, he did not pay me to say that. Yes, I would accept a small token of his appreciation.
But great news! I don’t mean to suggest for a second that he’s off the hook as “the good guy,” because where was his concern all those years while you were putting on the weight? I say that you are totally entitled to fume at him over that one.
As to whether you are mad at him or at yourself, who cares? Anger is anger and it carries some benefits. Go see your doctor for a physical, get an okay to exercise (I know, it’s hard for me to accept that we need approval to exercise. Next thing you know, we’ll need a go-ahead to eat tofu or something) and start moving. Personally, I love boxing for the Wii. You know, because it lets me imagine my nemesis on the receiving end of my left hook.
Or better yet, because not everyone can float like a butterfly and sting like a bee the way that Ali and I can, look into joining the gym with your honey. Getting physical together will help you shed the pounds and reaffirm both of your commitments to each other.
Good luck,
Marinka, TMH
