Did Cinderella Give Her Fairy Godmother a Gift Card?
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I am going to have my first child in July and my girlfriend is throwing me a baby shower. Both my best friend and the friend that is throwing the shower are going to be my child’s Godmother. Is it customary to buy the Godmothers a gift?
Signed,
Ready to Pop
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Dear Ready to Pop,
First of all, congratulations on your impending motherhood! Even though it’s been a few years for me, I still remember my pregnancy days very fondly. The swollen ankles, the gigantic badonkadonk, the weird strangers sticking their grimy paws on my belly and screaming, “Wow! You’re huge, lady! Whaddya got in there—the Harlem Globetrotters? Better order your SlimFasts by THE CASE, chubs!” Oh, it was just magical.
But I digress.
Now, per your question, you’re obviously the type of person who really cares about doing nice things for others. And this is good news, my dear, because in just about four weeks, all you’re going to be doing is nice things for that little bundle of joy currently crunking on your cervix. Yep, you’ll be doing all sorts of nice things like nursing, swaddling, burping and ducking for cover when the explosive diarrhea starts flying fast and furious. (Mom tip: Do not feed Texas BBQ to newborns.)
But while it’s very considerate of you to want to get these ladies Godmother gifts now, I believe that most people usually wait to do this until the actual christening of the child. At that time, you can happily give them each something very meaningful and timeless. Something that truly reflects their sacred vow to raise your baby in accordance with the church’s teachings. Something like this, for example:
Anyway, my advice is to just sit tight on the Godmother presents for now (unless you’re dying to get them something), and instead give them each a little nicety to thank them for the baby shower and the pregnancy support. A bouquet of flowers, a pretty picture frame, an autographed 8 x 10 of a hot teenage vampire sucking on a virgin’s neck—I’m sure anything like that would be very much appreciated.
Now stop worrying about them for a minute and give yourself a present: for the next few weeks, sleep in, load up on ice cream, get a massage, and just sprawl on the couch in your underwear watching bad Freddie Prinze Jr. movies. You’ll thank yourself later.
Good luck!
Wendi, TMH
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3 Responses to “Did Cinderella Give Her Fairy Godmother a Gift Card?”
Comment by dusty earth mother.
Wow, I’m impressed that you’re thinking about others during this special time. Enjoy that feeling of love and service, because soon the only thing you will want to give to others is your kid. For about a week.
Oh, and Wendi, thank you for using the word “foxy”. It is one of my favorite words and I get very excited when someone else obviously loves it too.
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Comment by Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him.
Wendi’s right – wait till the Christening. And then give them a flask that says “Jesus turned water into wine…or whiskey.”
That’d be awesome. Unless you’re actually planning on these broads raising your kid…then maybe steer clear of the hard stuff.
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Comment by GrandeMocha.
Ready to Pop,
These are your last moments of rest & relaxation, enjoy them! This is the last time you will have to yourself for many years. You will look back and say, “I wish I had…. when I had the chance.” Figure out what thing is & DO IT NOW.
As you can tell, I would kill for a day off. No husband, no kids, no dishes, no laundry.
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