You Might As Well Dance With Ugly Men Too
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I have a “friend” whose husband has a son from a previous relationship. My friend thinks that her husband should not pay child support because he does not see his kid (his choice). The reason she gives for his lack of parental involvement is that the child is “bad.” Well duh! Maybe if the little boy’s father spent time with him he might not be “bad.”
The truth is that my friend is whiney and does nothing to foster the relationship between her husband and his son. She actually hinders it.
She also thinks her husband shouldn’t pay child support because he was recently laid-off. But kid bills do not stop when you get laid-off. I chewed her out. Am I out of line? Should I just have nodded and moved on back to the real world where she apparently does not live?
Signed,
Seriously PO’d
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Dear Seriously PO’d,
My advice for you today is very profound yet crystal clear in its simplicity.
Stop hanging around jerks like your friend.
You know what makes a better friend than a whiney jerk? A Barbie doll. She lets you do all of the talking and, from the look on her face, she is happy with that arrangement. Not to mention she has a corvette and a mansion, all desirable qualities in a friend in this current economy.
And, of course, Barbie and Ken eventually have sex, and what is a result of sex? Children! Then Ken leaves Barbie for her younger sister, Skipper, but does Ken renege on his obligation to his children? No. He pays child support and sees his children every other weekend and alternating holidays, like 50% of all dads in America.
I now have a second piece of advice. You should have lunch with your jerk friend and bring Barbie along to use as a prop for social stories. If you aren’t familiar with social stories, they are a type of therapy used with children who struggle with understanding social situations. In your case, though, the social story props would be for adults who act like children.
Truthfully, I’m really not sure if the Barbie social story will work at all in your situation, mostly because I don’t keep jerks as friends. It’s like dancing with ugly men. I’d rather be alone.
Sincerely,
Heather, TMH
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BlogHer ‘10 is coming to NYC this summer and some of the Mouthy Housewives (together with Aunt Becky!) have put together a proposal for a room, called Dear Abby 2.0: Giving Advice in the Blogosphere.
Please help us bring this session to BlogHer!! Whether you plan to be there or not, please vote by clicking here, log on to BlogHer and then click “I would attend this session” (it’s just above the title: Dear Abby 2.0). After you click it it will miraculously say “I would not attend this session.” This means that your vote for the session has been successfully registered. Thank you!
5 Responses to “You Might As Well Dance With Ugly Men Too”
Comment by Plano Mom.
There’s really no comment to that, the answer is perfect.
So I’ll just say amen.
And one other thing, because I can’t shut up.
Kudos to the Dad for sticking by his commitment, even if only financial. I can’t help but wonder if he stays away from his child because the boy’s mother is just as much an immature self centered bitch as his current wife.
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Comment by Jen.
I would have seriously hurt my husband if he had ever neglected his responsibilities to his son. No, it isn’t easy, being a stepmom, but I knew what I was getting into when I went into this. That boy’s emotional and physical care became just as much my job as his biological parents’ job, once I said “I do.” In the word stepmother, the operative part is the word “mother.”
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Comment by bookthingys.
Perfect response.
As a mother with an ex in arrears and a to-be stepmom, I hate dancing with ugly men, as well.
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Comment by mom, again.
My ex didn’t pick up payments when the kids returned to my home after a brief try at living with him. We’d spent some months trying to reinitiate visitation, but he was never available. And, no child support. Their step dad and I decided we could do well enough without. We stopped pursuing him, thinking that by the holidays/his daughter’s birthday, surely he’d pick up the ball and run with it.
No, it took 7 years and Facebook for him to bother. When both kids had aged out of child support. Imagine that.
As with the time they lived with him, there was some positive and some negative to our choice. Overall though, both the living with and the not seeing for the next 7 years mostly served to teach them exactly what kind of person he is. AND the sort of people we are. My daughter recently told us that when she says ‘mom and dad’ she means her stepdad, not bio dad.
They are now counseling their half-siblings as he’s now splitting with his 2nd wife. The oldest of those children recently FB’ed one of mine, ‘you know, dad is kind of a jerk’.
Yes. Now you know.
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Steph Reply:
February 5th, 2010 at 1:27 am
ditto
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