Three’s Company, Except for The First Guy
Today we have a Guest Mouthy Housewife, filling in for me, while I “rest.” Carolyn’s fantastic blog is Carolyn… on Line and if you’re not a regular reader yet, prepare yourself for a treat! Carolyn also co-authored a book. Not that I’m jealous or anything. -Marinka
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I’ve been dating this guy for two months. He’s great. Really sweet, cute and fun. Here’s the problem: I have the biggest crush on his roommate Mike. I think about the roommate all the time. How can I tell my guy that I just want to be friends and start dating the roommate? Can the switch be done?
Signed,
Lusting From Afar
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Dear Lusting From Afar,
If my math skills are at all what they used to be, then I smell a threesome. That would make it pretty clear to all involved that you are attracted to both of the bedrooms in the apartment. Of course that has the potential to label you as “that-slutty-girl-we-hooked-up-with-that-time-after-all-those-tequila-shots,”, so maybe we should just call the threesome Plan B.
As for Plan A: I don’t see how you can keep dating the guy you’ve been seeing. We’ll call him “Ex-Date” since I don’t know his name. I know there’s some school of thought about keeping a bird in the hand and not wasting time on the one in the bush *ahem* but you’re not interested in Ex-Date enough to keep this up. And it isn’t fair to anyone to keep up the charade just so you can keep running into Mike, the crushy roommate.
So first things first, you need to stop seeing Ex-Date. And you need to find a way to do it where he won’t hate you in the end. Be kind. Keep it short. Be honest that you feel like you’ve become more friends than lovuhs. Then you need to have an honest conversation with Mike. Not one of those tipsy “accidentally” running into him in the bar and flip-the-hair and flirt shamelessly kind of conversations, either. A sober, honest talk. Tell Mike that you decided to stop seeing Ex-Date because you were attracted to him instead, and that you felt that it wasn’t fair to Ex-Date.
Then you have to wait. If they’re just roommates and Mike is attracted to you, then you’ll probably be busy on Friday night. But if they’re more – if they’re actually friends – then you have to deal with the Guy Code. The Guy Code is treacherous territory and it’s futile for us women to try and understand it. But Mike is going to have to be the one to decide how far it can go with you after reviewing all pertinent rulings and edicts in the Code book.
Sorry Lusty, that’s just the lay of the land where Guy Code is involved. Hopefully in the end they’ll both appreciate that you were honest and that you let them have a say in the outcome instead sneaking in a break-up and then throwing yourself at Mike.
If that doesn’t work, it’s off to Plan B. I suggest you buy the really good tequila.
Good luck!
Carolyn, Guest TMH
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5 Responses to “Three’s Company, Except for The First Guy”
Comment by Wendi.
Thanks to Carolyn for such a great answer.
And this question sounds like the plot of 99% of all romantic comedies.
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Comment by Marinka.
But what if you’re all honest with Ex-date and then Mike is totally uninterested? I guess that’s where the tequila comes in handy.
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Comment by Brianna.
I’m leaning toward Plan B, myself, but that’s just because I’m horny and very, very wrong. ROFL
Seriously, though, great advice.
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Comment by the mama bird diaries.
Fantastic advice. I think I have a crush on Mike too.
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Comment by miswiggie.
I would follow Carolyn’s advice and DEF break it off with current dude and give it some time. If the breakup is fair, clean and drama-free then Mike may not be scared off if he DOES run into you and things just ‘happen’ to take off.
And, like mentioned, they’ll likely appreciate your honesty and the fact you respected THEIR friendship.
Unless you really do want to just get it on with Mike, then by all means go full throttle to Plan B. =)
IMHO of course.
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