I Want My Husband in My Life, Just Not in My Bed
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
When our kids were babies, my husband and I started sleeping in separate rooms so we could get good rest. He snores and I’m a light sleeper, so it has worked out really well. We still have lots of sex, but is this weird?
Signed,
I Can’t Hear His Damn Snoring from the Guest Room
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Dear I Can’t Hear His Damn Snoring,
Is this weird? Well, if you and your husband are Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke, then no. Or if you’re Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, then no again. These actors seemed perfectly happy sleeping in separate beds on their TV shows. But maybe I’m the only one who takes life guidance from television. I mean, ever since tuning in to “Gossip Girl”, I’m determined to gain admittance to the fanciest prep school on the Upper East Side of Manhattan (despite the fact that I’m almost 40).
If you’re too high brow to let television be your life coach, then consider this: Different things make different marriages work. I was recently reading the magazine “Real Simple” from February 2008. (Look, that’s all they had in the waiting room.) And this issue had tips for making your marriage stronger. One piece of advice… only have a fight with your husband when you’re both naked. The theory is that by the time you get home and undress, you’ll never remember what you were so mad about.
What kind of advice is this? I don’t need to stew in my anger for hours and then face my own droopy breasts just so I can yell at my husband for forgetting to take out the recycling for the third week in a row! But I bet this works for some couples.
So if sleeping in different rooms works for you and your husband, don’t sweat it. You’re really just missing out on someone breathing in your face and stealing the covers. And if you and your husband are having a lot of sex, then you have nothing to worry about my dear. Your marriage is rock solid.
Enjoy your sleep,
Kelcey, TMH
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9 Responses to “I Want My Husband in My Life, Just Not in My Bed”
Comment by deb williams.
oh yes, we have been mixing it up for years at our house, for all sorts of reasons. the only thing i don’t like about my annex (the guestroom) is there is no tv. so if i feel the need to relocate for the night, i have to be committed to immediately falling asleep. or reading. to survive in my family, we all need the best night’s sleep we can get, so however that can best be achieved, we do. it’s worked for 19 years. but then again, i am not sure you could call our family normal. happy? yes. normal? ummm…
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Comment by Muirgen.
Our girls share a room so we can maintain the “guest room” – my other bed for when DH snores. We almost always start out in the same bed, but being able to transfer instead of losing hours of sleep has made me a much more pleasant person. And pretty much, happy me = happy family.
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Comment by Windsor Grace.
I like this response. I just go sleep on the couch sometimes just because I like to have my own space. I don’t think this means the relationship is in trouble, I just like to sleep with out someone grabbing all the covers and kicking me.
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Comment by Janey.
I am the horrible snorer and if we had a spare room I would bet my hubby would move into it! As it is half the time he ends up on the couch, poor dear.
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Comment by Lynn.
You know, husband and wife didn’t even start sharing a bed until the Industrial Revolution. Even then, it was just because there was so little space in the crowded cities that it made sense for the two people having sex to bunk together. Sounds like you and your hubby are on to something.
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Comment by JK.
I would normally agree with everyone else on this subject except that my grandmother adamantly warned my aunt not to move to a different room because of her husband’s snoring. She said her own marriage was never the same after that move.
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Comment by L.
My marriage is tight, but we have separate blankets. When I’ve admitted this to people, most of them confide that they wish they could do that too.
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Comment by hokgardner.
I would LOVE to have this arrangement. I’m a light sleeper who loves a cold bedroom and piles of covers. My husband snores like a bear and hates piles of covers. We could avoid so many midnight fights if we had separate bedroms.
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