Please Don’t Quit the Hair Club For Men!

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26 Mar

Please Don’t Quit the Hair Club For Men!

Today The Mouthy Housewives welcome the funny, frank Sarah Viz as our Guest Housewife! Sarah blogs at The Trenches of Motherhood where her slogan is “I had a mind once. Now I have children.” But judging by her hilarious advice below, we’d say her mind is doing just fine. Thanks, Sarah!

Dear Mouthy Housewives,

My husband had premature baldness and many years ago he invested in a toupee. It was a pretty good one and most people didn’t know it wasn’t real hair, but he got sick of the maintenance and finally took it off to go au natural. He’s happy now, but I miss the toupee. He just looked so much younger. Should I try to convince him to put it back on or learn to love my bald hubby?

Signed,

Bald Is Beautiful?

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Dear Bald is Beautiful?,

Wow. So what’s your secret to anti-aging? Please don’t tell me you look exactly the same as when you got married. Aging is a fact of life, my dear. As is wrinkling, sagging, graying and BALDING! Perhaps your husband isn’t exactly psyched that you’ve gained those 20 pounds. Or that you wear mom jeans. Or that your once perky boobs now look like ski slopes. But he’s not writing to the Mouthy Housewives to complain now, is he?

While you may insist that your husband’s rug was “a pretty good one” and that “most people didn’t know it wasn’t real hair,” trust me. They knew. As soon as that stiff wind blew and his hair remained steadfastly immobile, they knew. Or when his real hair happened to peek out of the bottom, they knew. And they mocked him for it.

So if your husband is secure with the follicular famine on his head, you need to wholeheartedly embrace his resemblance to Mr. Clean. After all, what’s NOT sexy about a man who cleans?!

Sincerely,

Sarah, Guest TMH

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Have you seen the Blogher 2010 agenda? The Mouthy Housewives who will be there–Wendi, Marinka, and Kelcey, plus the fabulous Aunt Becky, have been invited to host a Room of our Own called “Dear Abby 2.0: Giving Advice in the Blogosphere.” We are so EXCITED. Thank you to BlogHer and everyone who voted for us!! We are so grateful and can’t wait to see you there.

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8 Responses to “Please Don’t Quit the Hair Club For Men!”

03.26.10#1

Comment by murrbrewster.

I would only add that she might want to hang onto that toupee for when she roars through menopause. It would take a little trimming, but she might need it. Somewhere.

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03.26.10#2

Comment by Marinka.

fantastic advice! I’ll take bald over fake anytime.

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03.26.10#3

Comment by Michelle.

AMEN!

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03.26.10#4

Comment by Lara.

I dig bald. Even if you don’t, be glad he doesn’t have a comb over!

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03.26.10#5

Comment by Sophie, Inzaburbs.

Actually I think you should be using all your feminine guiles to get him to keep the toupee. Or at the least, affect a comb-over. It’s safer that way.
Because as you can see from the comments above, there’s a whole world of women out there just dying to rub their hands all over your man’s shiny top. A balding man can’t even walk down the street any more these days without getting a lot of attention. At least, to hear my husband tell it