Unemployed and Unhelpful
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
My husband lost his job five months ago. I am all about supporting him, but when does his “work” day end, as in: when can I start calling him asshole for not helping? Alternately, does my cocktail hour stay firm even now that he’s home?
Signed,
I’m About To Fire My Husband
_____________________________
Dear I’m About To Fire My Husband,
First the soft and fuzzy part… It can be very difficult when a man loses his job because it’s a major blow to his ego. Often men pride themselves on being the financial provider of their families and it can be quite devastating when they can’t fulfill that role. So your husband may be going through an emotionally difficult time right now.
But unfortunately for your husband, that is no excuse to be a lazy bastard.
When I’m job searching, I’d rather repaint the living room and re-grout the bathroom than actually send out a resume but perhaps your husband is more focused than I am.
Talk with your spouse about how many hours he needs each day for job searching. It may be a full day from 9 to 5. That’s his uninterrupted time to send out resumes, make calls and go on interviews (not his time to see how many new friends he can acquire on Facebook). Anything before and after is wonderful quality with the family. That’s when he’s expected to pitch in with the laundry, dishes, dinner and the kids.
If you can muster up the self-restraint, I would avoid calling him an asshole because I highly doubt that will motivate him to unload the dishwasher but you know your husband better than me.
Finally, because a job loss can be so unsettling for a family, you should keep everything else as consistent as possible. So stay committed to that cocktail hour. In fact, invite your husband to join you for a drink at 5 pm. It will feel like you are on holiday, if you can just overlook all the unopened mail, dirty clothes and dust balls throughout your house.
Sending employment vibes your way,
Kelcey, TMH
3 Responses to “Unemployed and Unhelpful”
Comment by christy.
I love the idea of cocktails together at 5pm! Great advice Kelcey.
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Comment by LISA5OF5.
Don’t you have some loud friends with obnoxious kids you could invite over several days a week? Turn your quiet neat home into a daycare. That should get him moving.
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Comment by Kay.
Unemployed husbands are NOT a fun thing. Especially when you (the wife) are also unemployed. Because while it’s perfectly acceptable for you (okay, I mean me) to lounge around in PJ’s reading blogs all day, with no intention of getting a job until the Unemployment runs out… Hello??? He’s a man. Isn’t he supposed to WANT to work? Or need to? Or something? Because the uninterrupted hours of computer time (on his end) are just truly irritating. Not to mention the fact that it’s kinda hard to love someone when they’re NEVER out of your sight.
Shit… maybe that’s just me. Forget I said anything.
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