How To Lose A Sister-in-Law in 10 Days
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I have a sister-in-law, whom I fondly refer to as “the sacred cow.” I call her this because she expects the world to treat her like royalty, but she sure as hell ain’t no princess. She’s a pain in the ass who maintains a house that is fit only for Salmonella to live in. She’s a miserable person who only speaks to me when she needs something, such as a babysitter or someone to help her clean her house because she’s due to have another baby in a few days.
Unfortunately, until my husband’s brother wises up and boots her out of his house, she’s technically family. So what will get rid of her faster, strange men’s boxers under the front seat of her car or a tiny pair of thongs under the seat of his car? Or, hey, maybe boxers under his car seat? What do you think?
Signed,
Must Dump the Sister-in-Law ASAP
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Dear Must Dump the Sister-in-Law ASAP,
The institution of marriage must really have a good PR company because all I ever heard about marriage growing up was… glass slippers, Prince Charmings and happily ever after. Nobody ever mentioned that Prince Charming had a pain in the arse sister-in-law.
As if we all don’t have enough crazy family members, we then go ahead and get married and acquire a whole new batch of nut case relatives. It can almost make a girl long to be single again. So I completely understand your desire to sabotage your brother-in-law’s marriage in order to rid yourself of this faux princess.
However, your ideas so far would be a waste of a perfectly good pair of boxers or thong because divorce is a sticky, ugly business. And since they have children, she will never really be out of the picture. In fact, she’ll probably still be asking you to babysit when it’s her night to take the kids.
You need to figure out a way to improve the situation. (I know, I know… I promised I would tell you how to lose her in 10 days but this is real life, not some sappy Kate Hudson movie.)
One option is to talk to either her directly or to your brother-in-law about the problem. Or maybe family members could hold an intervention with her if they’re having similar problems with her behavior. Or just maybe it’s time to get creative and do something different – like ask your sister-in-law to go get a mani/pedi with you or grab a drink when the husbands are both at home with the kids. Sometimes miserable people forget to be nasty when someone is suddenly nice to them.
And as for her next birthday or anniversary present – obviously a professional cleaning of her house is the the only gift she needs.
Good luck,
Kelcey, TMH
7 Responses to “How To Lose A Sister-in-Law in 10 Days”
Comment by Inna.
Great answer Kelcey.
I like the idea of being nice to someone to see if they will snap out of their bitchiness.
Hope it works out!
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Comment by arwhite.
This sounds just like my bitch-in-law! Are you sure she doesn’t have another husband stashed away somewhere?
Unfortunately, my backside pain is married to my oldest brother, who actually has resorted to making excuses for her less-than-savory behavior. He simply argues that the fact she won’t utter a single word to me or my parents is that it’s “her personality.”
I feel for you! If I can find a reasonably priced hit man, maybe we can get a good deal on a “2-for” job.
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Comment by GrandeMocha.
Wow I have Bitch-In-Laws (I’m stealing that) too. Count me in on the hit man. I would totally sell a kidney or something. My husband thinks they are more than perfect and why can’t I just love them the way they are.
I’m just soooo busy these days, I can’t find time to talk to them or email them or help them or anything. Of course I would if I could just get my to-do list done but until then… I was so happy when I heard one had a birthday party and I didn’t get invited.
I don’t really have any advice. Just avoid at all costs. Plan ahead so that when the birthday party/ Christmas/etc. comes up, you have an excuse ready to go.
Send the husband over to clean her house & watch her kid. Better yet, send your husband AND kids over. That way, they will figure it out for themselves.
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Comment by Marinka,TMH.
Or, go with the underwear idea, but put them in the freezer. Because you’ll get a break up AND a cool conversation topic. Yes, pun intended.
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Comment by Jennifer.
I’m a big fan of treating others the way they treat me. You want to be a bitch? Fine, I can be a bitch too. My MIL was a raging bitch when I was pregnant and she got it thrown right back at her. She’s sweet as punch now. Worse case scenario, they avoid you. It’s a win-win.
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Comment by Been there done that.
Well, I have been married for 25 years and have just recently decided that I cannot embrace my sister-in-law anymore, it only works temporarily anyway and when you let your guard down they sting you all over again. Then you get angry at yourself for being so stupid and thowing your pearl to swine all over again. These are very insecure people who are threatened easily by other women.
I ran into my bitch Sister-in-law at the shops one day and asked her if we can have a coffee. I then for the first time in my 25 years proceeded to say, we are family but let’s face it if we weren’t we wouldn’t chose each other as friends as we are so different. So let’s stop trying to be friends because that just keeps disappointing us. She agreed and then left.
I saw here at a wedding yestereday and funny thing. She totally ignored me at church even went to the extent of running over to the lady next to me and greeting her (very loudly I might add)and totally snubbing me, then a couple of hours later at the reception in front of her husband, my husband and mutual friends, she suddenly embrassed me very lovingly too. LOL So, nothing much has changed in that arena, she still plays games but I feel really good about my decision to cut off the one sided friendship. I have finally set myself free . I am still respectful when I see her but I don’t have to try anymore. I was able to enjoy all the people I wanted to spend time with at the wedding without over thinking every action and the consequences of what I say or do based on her insecure perspective of life.
You have to have a heart to heart and be true to yourself, I have a lot of friends and family who love and appreciate me and know that I am a person of integrity. Where attention goes energy flows, so put the attention into worthwhile relationships that are uplifting.
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RTC Reply:
December 31st, 2011 at 12:15 am
Thank you, this was very helpful.
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