Comment by Margaret (Nanny Goats).

Well this obviously raises the question of what the aunt did with her Amazon package/gift. I mean, did she think that “pump” merely referred to a device with which to enlarge the breast? You know, to pump it up? Or maybe she took it into the backyard to do something strange with her petunias.

Either way, I’m thinking you might want to just order another one and never brin git up with said aunt.

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Comment by vodka tonic.

What does a Godmother do anyways? Never had one for myself, or the kids.

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Comment by Betty Herbert.

I’m a godmother to a 4-year old (actually I’m a non-demoniational ‘yoda’ but the sci-fi imagary makes me feel icky). This means I take him to the zoo regularly, buy lavish presents at birthdays and Christmas, and generally try to behave amenably towards him. Now he has a younger brother, I have to replicate this behaviour towards him, too. Frankly, it’s expensive. We’re not planning children of our own, and so it will also never be reciprocated.

Is this, perhaps, why so many godparents slink off into the distance? It’s just such an ill-defined role these days, carrying a huge and nebulous burden of commitment.

CanI therefore suggest a godmother pre-nup next time?

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Comment by Christy.

It depends on what role you are seeking to fill. Some godmothers are selected and designated as an alternative parent if the natural parent dies. Some godmothers are responsible for helping to raise the child within the guidelines of the parent’s religion. Some godparents are selected to help spoil the child. Be clear as to what you are asking the godmother to do!

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Comment by Cheryl.

Christy got it in one. A godparent was originally a person who was charged with raising the child within the religious beliefs of the parents should they die. Things seem to have gotten out of hand with expectations. Be clear on what you’re looking for before asking.

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Comment by Marinka.

I think there should be an official Godmother-termination ceremony, filled with shaming and snickering and snide comments about how the disgraced Godmother didn’t even bother to open a college savings account for her Godsent. This will really keep the new Godmother on her toes.

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Comment by Sophie, Inzaburbs.

My husband is godfather to his nephew. I believe this role was bestowed on him around the age of about 12. Not surprisingly, their relationship seems to revolve around the mutual admiration of death metal bands (or something – it’s all noise to me). I agree, if the only role your chosen godmother is expected to play is the occasional card or trip to the zoo, just chose another one. They’re mostly expendable these days…

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Comment by MarathonMom.

My actual godmother is a D-list actress. Maybe C-list. I am not sure she knows my name, or even reads my blog! I wasn’t ever bitter about it until I saw the part about the breast pump! Yeah, a good one is expensive and that would have been awesome.

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Comment by Karin.

As far as I knew, godparents are forever officially. I mean really, how many times can one person be baptized? They are the official witnesses like best man and maid/matron of honor in a wedding. That being said, like best man/maid of honor, these people can come and go in our lives – they were merely a witness to a particular event.

Now, if we are talking people that we have named as guardians of our children as was the common practice in the past, well, yes, there is something official that can be done – CHANGE YOUR WILL! That’s it. No need to fire someone. No need to communicate with them about the change. Too much drama.

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Comment by All to familiar.

We are in the same boat. My daughters Godmother has shut us out for unknown reasons as well. I know there is nothing you can do offically if you are part of the Catholic church. It seems to be a very common practice for one or both of the Godparents to disappear from the childs life. I think it’s sad and pathetic that a person makes a commitment to be a part of a childs life and then up and changes their mind soon after the ceremony.

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Comment by CathG.

My late cousin made me godmother to her daughter when I was 20 – I was initially horrified since, as a good convent girl, I knew that it meant that I had to take care of the child’s spiritual life if her parents died, but my cousin assured me they didn’t expect me to do that, so I went ahead. YEARS later, my cousin made digs at me about what a great godfather *** was, how he never forgot the child’s birthday, and all but saying that I was a truly crap godmother. Aaaagh – a 20 year old does NOT know godparent etiquette – I had no idea that anything more was expected of me than being at the church. If you expect something of your child’s godparents other than the church part, then tell them upfront.

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