Comments on: Autistic or Not: How to have an armchair chitchat

By: Karin

Karin — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 17:19:38 +0000

I think this might dismiss some of the children with real problems – 5 years ago, I would have agreed with you but then I had a student – a 5th grader – who could have been a poster child for classic signs of autism – brilliant but locked in his own world. But his parents refused to believe anything detracting about him – he was perfect in every way – and refused to have him tested therefore keeping him from any treatment that could have helped him cope better. As soon as the conversation came up – week one of school, mom and dad got extremely defensive. This child was a distraction in class, could not stay on topic, could not complete assignments as assigned (I asked for a paragraph on the scientific method, he gave me 5 pages on space exploration in scientific method format; he only answered 2 of 10 math questions b/c he got distracted explaining his answer in higher level math terms) and b/c the parents refused to believe that something was wrong with their child, we were very limited on what we could do and it is not fair to the other students in the classroom since all of our energies needed to be focused on this one high-needs child. They eventually removed him from our school (private school) and said some very nasty things about us teachers. Well, come to find out, they had done the same thing at the last 4 school. This child had been at 9 different school and an even larger numbers of pediatricians and was told the same thing yet refused to believe it. The best we could do was refer them to social services.

Brushing the kid off as eccentric isn’t always the best answer.

By: Memarie Lane

Memarie Lane — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:38:20 +0000

thank you so much for this. i’m so tired of people thinking my son must be autistic just because he was a late talker and is a little behind in some areas. his doctor says he’s totally normal, but that just isn’t enough for some people. it’s like they want him to be autistic so they’ll have something to talk about over the backyard hedge.

By: Amber in Albuquerque

Amber in Albuquerque — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 20:02:18 +0000

Beautiful answer. My own eccentric child (who. BTW, also refuses to wear waist button pants) has taught me never to judge other children, parents, or parental judgments…like someone above said, we’re all part of the ‘human spectrum’.

By: Steph

Steph — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 08:58:44 +0000

Dear Concerned,

With friends like you, who needs in-laws?

By: Ungirdled Passion

Ungirdled Passion — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 01:08:11 +0000

Heather – you are my hero! Great answer! So refreshing in today’s culture. I think I would have been locked up as a kid if today’s computer chair MDs had gotten a gander at me in my formative years!

By: Formerly Gracie

Formerly Gracie — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:03:45 +0000

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for putting this out there. I so sick of the “well-meaning” facade of diagnosing other people’s problems… er, children. You couldn’t have said “mind your own bees wax” any better.

By: Heather, TMH

Heather, TMH — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 21:45:54 +0000

Janine: Clearly I’m a satanic monster!

Diane: Payton has a shrine in his bedroom built in honor of elastic-waist pants. And my Visa worships Lands End kid pants.

By: Diane

Diane — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:51:33 +0000

Love this and all comments. I have a clearly non-autistic kid who has an allergy to buttons, zippers, ties and all things not elastic. A friend recently left a voicemail for me letting me know that she had a lengthy conversation with a specialist who diagnosed my child with a mild form of autism without ever having met her. Classic.

By: Marinka

Marinka — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 19:44:49 +0000

Sophie–we all are absolutely on the spectrum and it’s quite fluid, I think.

By: Janine

Janine — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 18:47:59 +0000

How dare you make a child wear chinos. What kind of monster are you?