Comments on: Don’t Raise a Bigot: Talking to Your Kids About Race

By: Mary

Mary — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 14:57:29 +0000

I was referring to Heather’s kid. All I’m saying is that sometimes it isn’t about race at all. Sometimes, it’s the parents’ oversensitivity and overcompensation that makes it about race. If the original writer’s kid said he didn’t like black people, I’d be inclined to ask why and then take it from there. Maybe he’s just confused and not racist at all.

By: L

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 00:55:09 +0000

Mary,
Yes, but her son said “I don’t like dark Skinned people.” He didn’t say, “I don’t like Johnny. He’s a pain.” There’s a vast difference.

By: Mary

Mary — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:13:22 +0000

As a conservative on the order of Right of Rush Limbaugh, I kind of have a thorn in my ass that this was signed “…Liberal Mom”. What? Conservatives can’t be concerned about racism? Maybe the white kid isn’t racist at all, maybe the black kid is just annoying.

By: Lady Fi

Lady Fi — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 10:26:53 +0000

Great post. My kids have brown skin and they have returned from school in tears when people say things like, “I don’t like brown-skinned people.” It’s important to remember that comments like this hurt and that is why you should talk about it with your kids, no matter how young.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 06:26:50 +0000

Olya – I was just going to post the same article! It was very interesting, no?

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 04:24:30 +0000

Hi, new reader here.

Great post, and thank you for it. Fortunately my son’s at the age where he’s not noticing the difference in skin color, BUT I know he’ll be at that point soon because he’s noticing ‘differences’ and already asking questions about them. This is a great blog because it’s helped me to think on how I’ll have to deal with this one day.

By: Brianna

Brianna — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 03:34:26 +0000

I guess I was lucky. I was raised as “color-blind” as humanly possible because two of my cousins are mixed race. Most of my family is pasty ass white, but those two cousins are much, much darker, and when I was like, 4? I asked my mother why those cousins were dark skinned and we were light skinned. My mom said basically the same as LZ: it all boils down to genetics. Their daddy had dark skin, so they did too, just like I got her blue eyes. The “race” thing got explained later, but by then, I’d been exposed to so many different people that it really didn’t make an impact on me. People belong to different races? Oh, that’s interesting. Can I go play now? LOL

Also, the diaper bag is The Awesome, and I would love to win it! The weirdest thing I ever carried in ours is our TV remote. I stashed it there to get it out of sight of the kids (because they refused to leave it be) and totally forgot to take it out for three days.

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:47:58 +0000

Olya: That’s a good article. Thanks for sharing it. It does seem like a taboo to even talk about it and that’s something we need to overcome.

Liz: My son tried to get me to discuss tampons in a public bathroom after he read the vending machine. Fun times.

By: Olya

Olya — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:12:01 +0000

There JUST was an excellent article over an NurtureShock about exactly this: http://blog.newsweek.com/blogs/nurtureshock/archive/2009/09/11/is-discussing-race-with-a-3-year-old-too-young.aspx

And, apparently, latest research shows that the right thing to do is to talk about race more, not less. Kids do notice the differences, and when it’s not talked about, they begin to think it’s taboo (which, let’s face it, it sort of is). It would be helpful to discuss race more like we discuss gender: to recognize it, talk about it and say that differences are there, but that they should not be used as stereotypes.

By: Liz Jenkins

Liz Jenkins — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 20:06:53 +0000

Our 7 year old daughter went through a period of this last year as well – complete with utter mortification in the entry to camp this summer where she proceeded to inform the registrar that while she was excited for camp and made friends easily, she didn’t make black friends. Hello, she HAS black friends. But not the dark black friends. Light brown friends were ok – just not the dark ones. I wanted to sink through the floor.
I realized the mistake I made was not bringing up, more often, the differences in people – in everything from color to religion to beliefs to food preferences. So now, these types of things are daily discussions – usually in the car or in front of strangers in crowded public areas.
It seems to have subsided and I suspect it was more of testing out MY feelings to see where hers should be. Now we get to discuss private parts and menstrual cycles in public. Oh, joy.