Comments on: Who Needs Waterboarding When There’s a Non-Sleeping Baby Around?

By: ellyn

ellyn — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 00:58:20 +0000

The other have said but I will say it again. Hang in there. It won’t last forever. Count on husband/friends/family for help. You don’t have to go alone.

By: christy

christy — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 22:03:32 +0000

Ferberizing sort of worked for us – but what did work was following the book 12 hours sleep by 12 weeks old. We started it when she was 4 months old and thank our lucky stars we happened upon that book when we did. I was a zombie before it!

By: Tanna

Tanna — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 23:37:31 +0000

Oh man, I’m not sure I can have kids if I keep reading about stuff like this. Crying, not sleeping, vomiting, fainting, projectile poop. Some colorful posts out there today! And if you’re still breast feeding, it’s probably not best to de-stress with the whole bottle of wine. There are good things about kids, right?

Thanks for the clarification of ferberizing. I read it the first time around as Febreze-ing, clearly NOT the same thing.

By: MommyTime

MommyTime — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 19:51:11 +0000

You are describing my son. I remember the torture. My solutions were multiple. First, I put him in daycare two mornings a week BEFORE I had to go back to work. By the time he was four months old, I was suffering from such severe PPD that I simply needed some time to myself. You need that too. Whether it’s two mornings per week of daycare, or a child trade, or a husband who takes the child away to activities every Saturday, or whatever. Then, the first thing you do with that time is sleep. The second thing you do is anything that you could NOT pay anyone else to do for you. That means: no housework, lawn maintenance, or odd jobs. You read, hike, whatever you like, but it’s your ME time. This will help you recharge.

The second part, dealing with the weaning, is much harder. But (and this is a big BUT) if your child does not have other health issues to contradict this, a ten-month-old does not need food in the middle of the night any more. She needs comfort. For my son, we picked one feeding (say 2am) where he would not get fed anymore. Either I would soothe him back to sleep or my husband would, but there would be no feeding involved. (Sometimes it has to be husband since he has no breasts to annoy said child with tantalizing but unattainable goodies.) Soothing = back-patting, giving a binkie, singing, rocking, etc., whatever works — though I will say that the less contact is involved the better. You don’t want her to replace eating every hour with being rocked every hour. You want her to learn to fall asleep on her own once her sleep rhythms wake her up a bit. Within a week or so, when there was no food involved, he began to sleep through that feeding. Then we picked the next one, and did the same thing. It wasn’t fast, but it did work. We made the mistake of lying with him till he was asleep (he also was near a year old at this point), and that meant that every night he took longer and longer to fall asleep. My recommendation is to stay with her till she’s calm, then leave the room before she’s asleep. If she gets used to falling asleep without you there, it will come to the point where you can simply pat her back or hand her her binkie, and that will be that.

I know that sounds insane right now, since it’s so unlike what you’re dealing with, but it really does change. Think of it as changing habits, hers as well as yours, and that might help. If you just want a shoulder to cry on, email me. I will give you all the sympathy in the world. I know how hard this is.
(mommysmartini AT gmail DOT com)

By: Amo

Amo — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 13:15:34 +0000

My first son slept through the night at 8 weeks, my second son had colic and was an ass from the moment he was born.

He’s my favorite one now.

Hope this helps!

(This is exactly why no one asks me for advice.)

By: K-Line

K-Line — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:15:52 +0000

My kid was just like this. And I hallucinated from exhaustion. Really awful situation, gotta say. Big part of the reason I only have 1 kid. I cannot imagine every going through that again. I agree with the ferberization. Eventually, it’s the only thing that’s going to work. Though Lord, it might be a really bad week. Like, find friends who will help you take shifts.

It will get better eventually. The 10 month old will become a 10 year old and this nightmare will be a dim memory. Hang in there.

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:53:16 +0000

I agree – hire a maid.

Women always ask how to juggle all this stuff. My response is, why do you have to juggle it all? Hire help if you need it. There’s no shame in that.

I decided time with my kid was more important that cleaning the floors so I have a wonderful woman come in every week to clean the house. Life is much less stressful when you don’t try to do everything. And you’re better off hiring out the stuff you hate.

By: Big Momma D

Big Momma D — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 15:12:42 +0000

I see the suggestions for “ferberizing” the baby (allowing the baby to cry it out – in intervals). If it works & you’re comfortable with it, no harm in trying. I tried it, but my baby would projectile vomit after less than a minute of crying because she was upset. Nothing worse than a screaming baby AND cleaning up spayed vomit! There was nothing physically wrong with her. My solution ? I put a fan in her room when I put her to bed – pointed AWAY from the baby. The “white noise” blocked out other sounds and lulled her to sleep. Other parents run a vacuum cleaner, or drive the baby around in the car until the child falls asleep. The fan solution is the simplest. She’s now almost 26 years old and still sleeps with a fan in her room at night. I’ve tried it when I’ve had insomnia and it works for me, too.

By: hokgardner

hokgardner — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:45:01 +0000

My first child sounds just like yours. She took terrible naps and woke up repeatedly at night. I finally went with ferberizing after everything else failed, and it made a huge difference in our lives. As soon as she started sleeping better at night, her naps got better too – an hour instead of 20 minutes. Some kids just don’t need as much sleep, but helping them learn good sleep habits is a big thing. She’s nine now, and she still doesn’t sleep much, but at least she sleeps through the night.

By: Wendi

Wendi — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 13:32:39 +0000

I had the same issue with my first son. He only nursed & wouldn’t take a bottle, so I was exhausted. We finally Ferberized him, and as much as it sucked, it worked like a charm and he stopped his nightly feedings.

Heather’s right, it WILL pass. Hang in there.