Comments on: My Sister is a Bitch, Can We Still Be Friends?

By: The Good Cook

The Good Cook — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:40:56 +0000

Why did she call you a terrible parent? Was it because she caught you smoking crack? I mean – does she have a reason or a specific episode of terrible parenting? If not, she is WAY out of line.. just wondering…

So far as the divorce – that is NONE of her business. No one knows what goes on inside a marriage but the two people who are in it.

By: kmdguerra

kmdguerra — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:12:41 +0000

Family certainly has a way of putting the “fun” into dysfunctional! My mama always used to say blood was thicker than water, but that’s a bitter drink to swallow. I question why the sister is so concerned with her sister’s divorce; she wasn’t married to the husband, so how could she know what’s it like? And since when did women have to make their marriages work to make their siblings and parents happy too? Sistah is out of line and needs to get over it!

By: Heather

Heather — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 02:06:33 +0000

You know what goes good with an apology? Peace-offering gifts. Like, the sister should offer a fifth of expensive vodka as a peace offering with a note saying, “sorry I’m ass, I hope this makes up for it!”

By: Muirgen

Muirgen — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 19:16:12 +0000

That kind of reaction always makes me wonder what’s going on in HER life. I suspect it’s more about her than you, since I firmly believe that reality has no bearing on most people’s perceptions.

Seriously. Unless your child is being abused or neglected, she is way outta line.

By: janine

janine — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 18:32:20 +0000

Hey Really,
I come from and extremely blended family. Like “Holidays brought to you by Cuisinart” kind of blended and I have learned some important things that have helped us avoid bloodshed: 1)family is about effort, not genetics. Sometimes the people we share noses with are the LEAST healthy people for us to be around; be they parents, siblings, grandparents, or whomever. As an adult, you have the option of choosing whether or not to continue negotiating those relationships–Lisa5of5 is completely right. Coming from the same womb entitles her to borrow your lip gloss, not criticize your parenting. You obviously made the decision to end your marriage, maybe it’s time to divorce your sister too. 2) Having said that, the mantra in our family is: “Reality has NO bearing on this situation.” However your sister sees your life has no bearing on what is ACTUALLY happening. Her comments may honestly be based in some whacked-out desire to help you–believe it or not. Her perception is reality to her, as much as your perception is reality to you. But they may be different realities. If you decide to work things out with her, try to understand her motives in addition to her actions. You may have more common ground than you think. 3) Therapy: it’s not just for breakfast anymore! Other than the obvious financial restrictions, there is no reason NOT to try family therapy. If your plumbing was busted, you’d call a plumber, you wouldn’t just live with sewage backing up in yout basement. Your relationship is broken,call a professional and see how you can fix it.

Good luck.

By: LISA5OF5

LISA5OF5 — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 13:13:27 +0000

The one question you should ask yourself is: if this person was not my sister, would I want to have a relationship with her? Is this a healthy relationship that helps me to become a better person? Or am I just a built in punching bag for someone who feels like shit about their own life and therefore uses criticizing me to make themselves feel better? Okay, that’s three questions, but you get the idea. Your sister should be your friend. Is she?

By: Heather

Heather — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 07:36:48 +0000

I also believe that an extravagant gift, in addition to an apology, is in order for any and all “terrible mother” related comments.

By: redgirl

redgirl — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 06:01:15 +0000

extremely acceptable answer.
well done!