How To Handle Social Media Slights: The Mouthy Housewives’ Version of Twitter Etiquette
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I just discovered several people unfollowed me on Twitter, and I was defriended on Facebook by an old classmate. Is there a way to gracefully handle this unfollow/defriend experience without it being a big deal?
Signed,
Social Media Rookie
______________________________________________________________________________
Dear Rookie,
Oh, you mean we’re suppose to care when we are unfollowed or defriended on social media sites? Should I add “who unfollowed me?” to my list of things to worry over, right in between “are my shoes still in style?” and “would Russell Crowe find me attractive?”
If we’re looking for graceful ways to handle this social media slight, I suppose the most graceful thing to do is nothing. There can’t be a big deal if you don’t react. BUT! If you’re like me, “gracefully handled” is defined by unfollowing them right back, because that will really show them! (See Qwitter and/or FriendorFollow to help facilitate your social media passive-aggressive impulses.)
And I’m not really sure how one knows if they’ve been defriended on Facebook? Do you spend time online, stalking Facebook friends, committing their names to memory? Because, frankly, I have more important things to worry over, such as whether Russell Crowe likes brunettes, or only blondes? His wife is blonde, his infamous affair with Meg Ryan – another blonde. Does this mean I should select a new unattainable star for my sexual fantasies?
See, my plate is full, and I believe this is the true key to handling social media slights with grace: complete self-absorption. It works for me.
Signed,
Heather, TMH
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11 Responses to “How To Handle Social Media Slights: The Mouthy Housewives’ Version of Twitter Etiquette”
Comment by Chris.
I have to confess, I’ve been unfollowed by a couple of the HANDFUL [literally, practically NADA] of people who follow me. It stings a bit, even when they’re exotic dancers. Hasn’t happened on FB, except for a couple of people who were freaked out by the FB experience and punched out completely. Something I’ve considered…
Great question! And answer!
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Comment by Muirgen.
Consider if you’ve been unfriended, or if you are a victim of FB limiting the number of friends you can have (default is a max of 250 & must be changed or people just disappear).
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Comment by Megan {Velveteen Mind}.
I totally just wrote a “WTF you blocked me on twitter” email to a friend. No kidding. First time I’ve ever been blocked, as far as I can tell, and it happened right after they sent me a friendly DM. I found out when I tried to respond to the DM and twitter was all “Whore, she hates you now.”
I’m going with that it was an accident. Like, an accident that they hit “yes, absolutely block her” through the 9 times they ask you if you are sure.
I wish I had found this post before that damn “what the hell is wrong with you?!” email. 
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Comment by Bejewell.
Hey, Miss Judgy McJudgypants, don’t mock me for stalking my Facebook friends list. I define myself by the number of people who love me and maintenance of The List is a key component of my self-worth. Besides, Russell Crowe has bad hair and no sense of humor. Get a REAL crush. (See what I just did there? Two can play that Judgypants game.)
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Comment by Heather.
Bejewell: Like I want a man overshadowing my sense of humor? Pshaw!
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Comment by Marinka.
Yeah, yeah, great advice. However *this* Mouthy Housewife prefers to go with the vendetta version.
I’m not sure that it’s entirely legal, and that our Mouthy Housewife malpractice policy covers such advice, but let me just say that after the first few people unfollowed me, I haven’t had that problem again.
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Comment by Wendi.
I’m just amazed that when Heather put on the Land’s End sweater, she turned into Tiger Woods’ wife. That is you in the picture, right?
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Comment by Heather.
Haha.. I love this! I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard grown adults say, in regards to their MYSPACE account.. “Well, I removed HIM/HER from my top friends!” – as if that’ll teach some valuable lesson? Hahahehehoho… Who really cares? Remove me, Delete me, Life goes on…
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Comment by amy.
When I first got on FB I happily tracked down everyone I could think of from my past. Friended them of course because I thought that is what you did! And who doesn’t want a bunch of friends to make you look loved?
But then time went on and I rarely spoke to many of the people again. It made me uncomfortable for me to post the mundane things. Like does the girl I went to grade 5 and 6 with really CARE if I did ‘blah, blah, blah’?
So I shaved it down. One person wrote to ask what he had done to be unfriended and I was just honest. And then felt bad, that were there other people feeling slighted? But hey, if they really know me they will feel comfortable writing and asking why right?
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Comment by amandashea17.
I find it hilarious when people get offended over unfollowing/ defriending. Really, really?!?! Let it go and move on.
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Comment by thepsychobabble.
I agree. Do nothing. At least on twitter. For facebook, do nothing is most likely best. But if it’s someone you communicated with regularly, and you were actual friends, not just “I used to pass you in the halls, right?” friends, you could risk sending a short note saying you hope that you didn’t do/say anything that offended them…blahblahblah…
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