Bored Housewife Turns Internet Floozy
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
I’ve been a housewife for four years now and while I enjoy it, I also feel I’m lacking something. My husband and I don’t connect anymore, so I’ve found myself repeatedly straying. I currently have an Internet boyfriend I talk to everyday. I don’t mean for it to happen, but it feels really good. It kind of breaks up the monotony of the day, I guess, especially when you feel your husband never pays attention to you. I just don’t know how to get rid of these feelings I have.
How do most housewives not find themselves wanting more?
Chatroom Cheater
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Dear C.C.,
As a veteran housewife of 9 years, I ask you to place your right hand on a pile of laundry, raise your left hand and repeat after me:
I, (insert name), solemnly swear by June the Cleaver and Martha and Dr. Laura and the Brady Bunch and all the gods and goddesses of hyper-domesticity, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfill according to my ability to become stark raving mad if I try to live up to their false image.
Congratulations! You’ve just been inducted into the Disillusioned Housewives Club, member number 24,467,989.
You seem to be making the assumption that most housewives aren’t yearning for more in life than their next crock-pot masterpiece. I can only guess you either don’t associate with many other housewives or live in Stepford, CT. Or maybe you can’t see past the nose on your face, I don’t know. I do know I often wonder if there is more to life than softening my hands while I do dishes.
Why do you think many of today’s suburban wives spend their time comparing tattoos? Or why cocktail play dates have replaced Tupperware parties? It’s our attempt to break the old unattainable (and unfulfilling) image of a housewife, and what better way to go about it than throwing empty bottles of vodka and mooning it with a tramp stamp?
That feeling of something lacking in life is your inner Yoda telling you it’s time to discover something new about yourself, although I doubt Yoda means for you to discover you’re an internet floozy.
Yoda would say something more like “in extramarital affairs, find yourself you will not.” I generally agree with him, so unless you’re simply looking for an excuse to end your marriage, you’re not on the right track. The lack of connection with your husband is an outer reflection of a lack of connection with yourself, and no “boyfriend” in the computer (or in the flesh) will fill that void for you.
Day-to-day monotony is inevitable at times, but keeping it from dominating your days is up to you. Personal fulfillment is, well, personal, and there is no one path to self-discovery. I find it through volunteer work and writing, others through a new talent like photography.
And just to show how varied the path can be, I’ve heard of grown women dealing with these “wanting more” feelings, especially the sexual kind, by becoming obsessed with a fictional teenage vampire. I personally don’t understand this type of premenopausal imbalance, but since I’ve been known to read a few cheesy bodice-ripping pirate romance stories as a sexual fantasy outlet, who am I to judge?
Heather, TMH
11 Responses to “Bored Housewife Turns Internet Floozy”
Comment by Alexandra.
You are so smart, and absolutely right. The emptiness is from within: you cannot expect another person to make your life fulfilling for yourself. And you can’t use people to fill up your emptiness, either. You have got to make yourself more interesting, and doing more: and not the internet stuff, either: b/c that is nothing but a filler…
Love your answer, Heather. Hope she gets it: though it doesn’t sound like she wants to work at much, kindof just wants the easy fix, the temporary one.
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Comment by Ashlie- Mommycosm.
That feeling of something lacking in life is your inner Yoda telling you it’s time to discover something new about yourself, although I doubt Yoda means for you to discover you’re an internet floozy
Well said, Heather. Well said. LOL.
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Comment by Ungirdled Passion.
INCREDIBLY great advice! While she is looking for her authentic self, may I suggest an occasional bar fight or downing of the large size bag of Stacy’s Simply Naked Pita Chips as healthier diversions to internet skankiness. Thanks for visiting my blog recently! I was down for a little while but have added you to my humble little blog roll and would be so honored for TMH to consider mine for their blog roll. Thanks!
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Comment by the mama bird diaries.
Heather – you are spot on. This gal is bored, bored, bored. Life is meant to be experienced. She needs to get off the computer and start finding out what she is passionate about. Once she stops the online flirting and starts investing in herself, I am sure those feelings will go away. Because right now she’s on a slippery slope to destroying her marriage. Excellent advice.
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Comment by mamacita.
Okay, voice of dissent here: maybe being an Internet floozy isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe you can get in touch with your sexy self and bring that back home to the mister. Maybe you can have your escapist thrill and it wouldn’t really hurt anybody. Nobody ever got VD from a computer.
Just decide that you’re not going to meet in person. If your online boyfriend can’t deal with that, you’ll have to find another one.
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Comment by Robina.
Very well said Heather. Hell, I have two kids, work full time, and I’m STILL bored sometimes and feel like I’m missing out on something. I need to paint again. I have painted every room in my house, so maybe it’s time to start over! LOL
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Comment by Aludra.
Good advice from Heather. I would also add that a good friend may be what’s missing. I mean, an internet boyfriend is really just a friend. Go get a girlfriend, have some drinks, bitch about guys, etc.
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Comment by Andrea's Sweet Life.
Oy, that is my husband’s worst nightmare. He’s always afraid some internet boyfriend is going to come along.
Life doesn’t have to be void of passion just because you’re a “housewife”. Discover something you ARE passionate about and pursue it. NOT dudes, though, unless, as Heather said, you’re really just looking for a way OUT of your marriage.
Passion can be found in lots of places!
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Comment by Three Bay B Chicks.
The advice on this site is very good…very, very good.
I am also impressed at the confession revealed in the last paragraphy; that of reading the romance novels. That type of reading is my guilty pleasure too.
-Francesca
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Comment by Lilacspecs.
Very well answered Heather.
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