The Evil Ways of a Future Auntie-in-Law
Dear TMH,
My fiance went to West Virginia to visit his family and go on a hunting trip. I got a call a few days later from his aunt, who frequently refers to me as ‘damaged goods’, saying he had been killed in a hunting accident.
I went up there to help take care of things, and when I arrived, I was met by his mother, who took me to the hospital to see him. He had a gunshot to the leg, but was otherwise in perfect health. I’m supposed to become part of this family, when clearly, I’m not wanted there. What can I do about this aunt who will stop at nothing to keep me away?
Signed,
Who’s Damaged Here?
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Dear Who’s Damaged Here?,
She told you your fiancé was dead?! Seriously? Let me tell you that it takes a lot to shut up a Mouthy Housewife, but I am momentarily struck completely speechless by the vicious behavior of this aunt. That woman is SERIOUSLY disturbed. But because I refuse to waste any energy on the completely insane (I gave up on my dog a very long time ago), let’s focus on what you can do.
You need to immediately have a candid conversation with your very much alive fiancé about his commitment to you. If this guy truly loves you and respects you, he will deal with Miss Aunt Cruella de Vil. He needs to let his aunt know that her behavior is completely unacceptable and you are the love of his life. She must immediately shape up or she will be cut out of your lives completely.
If he is unable to immediately defend your honor, cut this guy loose. Crazy in-laws are forever. I had a friend who once put that bumper sticker on the back of her car.
My final advice is to buy your fiancé a damn cell phone. I can only assume he doesn’t have one or why the hell would he not call you after getting shot in the leg?!! I would call my husband just to complain that the woods were a bit buggy. Maybe the reception sucks there. But I think at that point, even Bambi and her deer posse have found a cell network that works in the deep forest.
Good luck to you, and please don’t ever give your future aunt-in-law my email address. I’m paranoid enough without the likes of her scaring the holy crap out of me with her crazy lies.
Love,
Kelcey, TMH
12 Responses to “The Evil Ways of a Future Auntie-in-Law”
Comment by Marinka, TMH.
Excellent advice. You can’t run fast enough from this kind of crazy.
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Comment by Amber in Albuquerque.
Cut him loose anyway. Plenty of fish in the sea. Take it from someone who has seen (and continues to see) what marrying into crazy does to your married life. Avoid it while you can. I mean, there’s redneck (me) and then there’s crazy redneck…run, run screaming from the relationship.
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Comment by jordan.
that is the most outrageous thing I’ve ever heard! (in the past month or so, but still!) Your man needs to take care of that shit.
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Comment by MommyTime.
That behavior on the part of the aunt is certifiably lunatic and downright mean, no matter what part of the world you live in. If your man doesn’t call her on it immediately, you are right to wonder whether he’ll stand up for you down the road either. On the plus side, apparently his mother is not on that crazy train. Is it possible to refuse to have anything to do with Awful Auntie while still maintaining relations with other saner members of the family?
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Comment by Jane.
That is the meanest thing I have ever heard!
WOW some kind of crazy.
My ex was from WV……. and had sisters……..
They never gave me a chance no matter how hard I tried.
I never once got a Happy Birthday phone call or card, no X-mas no nothing. I never forgot them or their children, they never even thanked me for all the gifts I sent to the kids.
Be careful is all I can say!
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Comment by Inna.
I say run, immediately! There is no reason to ever say someone was killed when they really weren’t. How can people be so insensitive!?!
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Comment by Coco.
I don’t believe in physical violence but it would be hard for me not to put a bad case of whup ass on that woman. OMG…. I hope you had already received another call letting you know that he was okay before her whack job phone call.
Don’t turn your back on her. Geez
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Comment by LISA5OF5.
OK, just for stupidity’s sake, lets say you go ahead and marry this guy (who, by the way, got shot & hospitalized and DIDN’T BOTHER TO CALL YOU). Do you realize that any children you have with him will be swimming in the same gene pool as Evil Crazy Mean Auntie? Can you imagine the kind of poison she’ll be pouring in their little ears as they grow up? Can you imagine the Thanksgivings? The Christmases? The Birthdays? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! RUN AWAY!
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Comment by Abbey.
Maybe the mean aunt was just testing for gold-digging-ness in you as the future wife? Since you didn’t ask what you were getting from his estate, you passed!
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Comment by Fletch.
Aw, yeah. That’s just the West Virginia way of welcoming new women to the family. Cousin shoots him in the leg, mama tells the girl he’s dead just to see what she’ll do. Why do you think all the West Virginian men have bullet wounds in their legs? “Hunting accidents”. Pretty clever, huh?
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Comment by Amo.
Holy hell. Did I just read that?!
I mean, damn. My MIL lives in ‘nudie camp’ but she’s not mean-crazy. You have to have some serious gonads to be that kind of crazy.
RUN LIKE HELL, GIRL!
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