How Do You Tell Your Sister She’s Fat AND Stupid?
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
Every year my older sister starts a new diet plan on January 1st. Since she knows she’s doing this, she eats like a burly Teamster for the entire month of December, thinking she’ll soon lose the weight. However, she never does and each year she packs on an extra 10 lbs. How do we tell her this is a really bad idea without hurting her feelings?
Signed,
The Skinnier Sister
_______________________________________________________________________
Dear Skinnier Sister,
Let me get this straight: You want to point out the obvious to your sister, which will basically imply that she’s both fat and stupid. I bet she’ll want to nominate you for Sister of the Year after that!
I have a better idea – you don’t tell her.
Losing weight is hard. With deep, enlightened statements such as that, I’m sure you’ll want to quote me, so I give you permission. See, this Mouthy Housewife has sworn for over a year now she would see the underside of 140 pounds. I have three pounds to go, and this is after months (and I mean MONTHS) of heinous acts of self-flagellation, or what is also known as The 30-Day Shred exercise video. Of course, it probably wouldn’t take me so long to reach my goal were I not also flagellating myself with chocolate chip cookies tied to a rope.
If you feel compelled to help your sister, I suggest a more positive approach. Make a fitness commitment with her. I don’t care who you are (unless you are that succubus she-devil Jillian Michaels), there is always room to improve your physical fitness. The two of you can keep each other accountable. There are lots of ways to do this, but right now I hear a cookie calling my name and can’t list them. Hofefully, mah reafers wilf mafe some suffestions while I eafs dis cookie.
Sincerely,
Heather, TMH
_____________________________________
Would you like the chance to win a super sassy pair of yoga pants from Yogamat Boutique? Just click here here for the details on how to enter. Best part? If you win, you are not required to actually do yoga. You can just lounge around in your new pants and eat salt & vinegar chips.
4 Responses to “How Do You Tell Your Sister She’s Fat AND Stupid?”
Comment by I’m Fine. Except for This Mutant Flu Virus. | Queen of Shake Shake.
[...] speaking of housewives, I’m over at the Mouthy Housewives today discussing how to tell your sister she’s both fat and stupid. Solid gold advice, people. So golden, in fact, that the Executive Office of the President of the [...]
Comment by kelcey.
excellent advice.
[Reply]